Released

I'm in the midst of drafting a couple new pieces but I haven't had much quiet time to wrap my mind around them.  So I'm going to 'cheat' and re-post one I wrote last year that's very close to me.  Bear with me, I hope to have something new soon.

Released

What goes on in your good-girl mind
Hushed from temptuous thought and deed,
As if being done a favour.
“Please do tell me how to act," they think to hear,
"For I know not what I want.”
Oh, if they only knew of the strength of your desire
To unfurl your wings in their midst
And fly untethered.

But when night visits and your thoughts play alone
And you drift, freeing your will from another’s grasp
What do you dream as your eyes weigh heavy?
While The One beside you sleeps.
Do you welcome another to your door ,
To your bed?
Do you breathe his breath as your own,
Heart against heart
Feeling his life inside you.
Writhing beneath the weight of his mass,
Giving in to that beautiful release.
Breathless body strewn across crumpled sheets,
Spent, used,
But blissfully fulfilled.
And again.

And the hours pass unnoticed,
Their birth and decay measured only
In reckless heartbeats
Teeth-torn wrappers scattered around you.
Fading droplets in your glass.
This moment a lifetime.

All too soon the sun greets your window
And The One stirs,
Signalling a return to your world.
Accompanied, yet alone.

What goes on in your good-girl mind
What shadows lurk, what secrets to find?
Would you surrender yourself
For one night of sin
When the wind blows through your door
And the wolf creeps in?





Photo credit here .

Life

"Life is a series of thousands of tiny miracles."
                                 -Mike Greenberg






photo credit here

Let's Talk

                                                 here

If there's one thing I've grown to value more than almost anything else the past two years it's conversation.  I love to talk whether in person, through e-mail or my blog .  I tend to want to get to know people beneath their surface and I've been fortunate to be able to do this, through tremendously personal discussion in some cases.

I've learned that conversation is more about listening than talking.  It can be incredibly rewarding and I believe it's an essential part of our growth; sometimes it's easier to see ourselves through others.

I'm not perfect, but these are rules I've set for myself that I always strive to follow...

-Talk less and listen more.  Ever have a conversation with someone who seems anxious for you to finish what you're saying just so they can talk?  Doesn't show much consideration for the other person does it?
-Be less willing to offer an opinion and more willing to lend an ear.
-Look whomever you're talking to in the eye, give them all of your attention.
-If you don't understand something, ask.  Don't skim over it, it will only hinder your understanding of the person you're speaking with.
-Never de-value what someone tells you about themselves.  You have no idea how significant a part of their lives it may be or what it took for them to share it with you.
-Keep an open mind.  You may not agree with what they're saying, but try to see life through their eyes.  It'll better enable you to understand why he/she feels the way they do.
-Give of yourself first, do it willingly and for the right reasons. Never expect anything back. Be genuine, you'll be surprised at what is returned to you in time.
-Never tell someone to trust you. It's unnecessary for those who know you, the rest you have to prove yourself to.  Trust can't be demanded, it has to be earned.
-If you feel the need to repeat something that someone has told you in private conversation, check with them first. It may be more personal than you think.
-If you're about to start a sentence with the words, "I'm not supposed to tell you this but..." don't.  You're betraying someone's confidence. 
-When someone confides in you never repeat it, ever.  Die first. I can't emphasize this enough.
-Don't pretend to know how someone feels.  We can understand, but we can rarely KNOW what someone's going through.
-If they're upset let them express it.  Don't stifle or diminish somebody's feelings. Feel empathy but not pity, most people want to be understood not felt sorry for.
-If someone doesn't want to continue a conversation, respect that.  Don't force anyone to swim in deep waters if they don't want to.
-Be patient.  Someone may not want to open up to you today, this month or even this year.  Realize that we all fight something and some of us need to do it alone, if he/she doesn't want to talk to you about it it's not always personal.
-If you encourage somebody to be open with you, be prepared for what they tell you because it won't always be what you want to hear.  Being a friend isn't about just dealing with the good stuff.
-If you tell someone you'll be there for them, then be there.  Even when it's not convenient.  Lending your shoulder to lean on means you'll feel the weight sometimes but the rewards far outweigh the bruises. 
-Realize you can only provide direction, you can't fix people or their situations.  (This is something I struggle with).
-If you've told someone they can ask you anything, be ready to answer their questions.  What they ask won't always be comfortable, but some people genuinely want to get to know you.

 

Secret Fridays- my thoughts

It has always been my intent to run Secret Fridays as a hands-off recurring post.  In other words, a place you can come to in confidence and have your say each week without my input.  After months of doing this, I feel it's time to talk a bit about what this experience has meant to me.

As many of you know, Secret Friday is my 'baby'.  It's something I hold close and feel very protective of, just as I feel protective of the words each of you write weekly under cover of anonymity. Reading what you have to say has been bittersweet for me. Some comments have been so amazing they get my heart and mind racing.  But the comments that affect me most are those that are pulled from deep within.

There are those of you who are in a very dark place right now.  And whether these comments are from someone I know or a visitor just passing through I want you all to know that I read every word you write, and those words stay with me through the day.  I silently and forever hope that those of you who are hurting find peace with your situations and especially yourselves. Although I discourage feedback on people's comments, I want you to know that your words aren't falling on deaf ears.  People do care. 

Secret Fridays will most likely continue for as long as I have my blog. I'm blessed that so many of you feel I've provided a safe place to share your innermost thoughts and emotions, and I thank you for placing that trust in me.

(This is a change from my usual Secret Friday post but feel free to treat it the same way and comment if you wish).

It's My Blog-iversary!

Has it really been a year?  This site has gone through some changes since it started, and so have I. I'll explain.

I started my blog as a way to hopefully help others through daily quotations.  I didn't want it to be about me, but rather a place where people could drop by for a dose of inspiration through the words of others much wiser than myself.  I had hoped to meet a few people along the way, and was happy with the occasional comment as an affirmation that people were actually reading and getting something from it. In reality I'm sure I was doing it as much for myself as for others.

Over the next five months I gradually felt like I was returning to myself again and the blog needed to take a new direction.  So at the end of August I posted 'Gangsta Kat', followed a few days later by my first essay.  And I began to connect with people more than I ever had with the quotations I was posting.  What I found was that many people relate on a much more personal level to the experiences and opinions of their peers than they do to words from the wisest philosopher.

Fast forward to today and I can honestly say this has been one of the most amazing, fulfilling things I've ever done.  I've discovered many things over the past year, perhaps the most important of which is if you really want to make a difference in life you don't need to move mountains, just people.

 I feel extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to meet all of you, wherever you are.  I've been reminded of things I take forgranted and learned so much more in the process, often from those much younger than myself.  There's a tremendous amount of wisdom and compassion out there; I think the world is in good hands.

Although my blog has been a great creative outlet for my poems, stories and essays my focus is still very much on you, truth is I write as much for all of you as for myself.  Nothing makes me happier than to hear what you have to say, whether it's about my words or sharing your own.

This won't change; in the year to come I'll be having more guest posts, more giveaways, more ways to get all of us involved and hopefully grow a little closer together.  Secret Fridays will continue.  And although it was a hard hit on my time and pocketbook, I plan to run Bloggers over Borders again as it seemed to shake things up a little.  Those who know me best know I like to do that.

I want to thank each and every one of you for making Life in Quotations what it is.  Without your encouragement and feedback it would have remained an on-line collection of quotations with pictures.  Instead it's become a place where I can share ideas, emotions and incredible conversation with friends. 

Here's to my first year.  And here's to you.

Life's Growing Inspiration

"Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despair, offering us for a minute the glimpse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the whole of time."
-Albert Camus

If there's one tiny perfect creation that epitomizes life's beauty in my eyes, it's an orchid.  I've loved them as far back as I can remember, so when Sandy and I paid a visit to our local nursery last month I knew I had to have one.  She honoured my request and I picked this one as an early birthday present to myself (here it is sitting in our kitchen)...

                                phalaenopsis

There are approximately 25,000 species of orchids. More than 100,000 hybrids and cultivars have been produced, making orchids the largest family of flowering plants in the world.
What do I love about them?  The variations are endless and breathtaking.  Orchids have captured the hearts and imaginations of poets and authors, artists and dreamers throughout centuries for many reasons:

They're spectacularly colourful...

hypnotically beautiful...

erotically suggestive...

and elegantly fragile...

800 species are being added to the list every year, ensuring an endless source of inspiration for those captivated by the timeless beauty of one of life's most exquisite creations.

Secret Friday

Happy Friday everybody! In some parts of the world a few of you have already begun your weekend so I hope it's off to a good start.

It's time for the fourteenth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to anonymously share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

If you get something from this I hope you'll consider hosting one on your blog as well. Feel free to copy and paste the guidelines below if you choose. All I ask is that you keep a regular eye on your feedback; contributions can be intense sometimes and people writing in need to be respected. It's very important. If you decide to do this on your blog please, please let me know. If we link to each other I think we could start something great.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wishes to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post a secret or fantasy anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can post as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) I'll be participating as well. (After thirteen of these I have to dig deeper!)

6) Feedback directed towards me is welcome, anonymously or otherwise.

7) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

And now to it...

The Music Man

I hope this doesn't bum you guys out too much, but I've been going through some of my older writing (back to Grade One actually) and came across this piece.

When I was younger a friend of our family passed away from cancer.  I didn't know him extremely well, that is to say I don't remember a lot about him now except he was taken too soon, as always seems the case.

Peter was a gentle family man, a musician who loved to sing and play guitar with his band.  I wrote this a week before my 22nd birthday; it was really for his entire family but inspired by the emptiness I saw in his young daughter's eyes.  I've always found writing to be therapeutic; I guess I wrote this to help me deal with seeing her like that, which if I'm honest upset me even more than his passing.


The Music Man

The music man appears on stage
The song begins to play,
The night burns on, each note each page
We know he's here to stay.

The people seemed happy for the chance
To watch him for a while
I felt his warmth shine as I danced
And saw it in his smile.

But tonight the stage is silent
The singer's now at rest,
There was one song yet to be played
And God made His request.

And now your eyes seem lifeless
As I look at you through mine,
A deep and dark cold emptiness
But a little light still shines.

For though he gave you love in life
And taught you how to care,
He brought some of the love you learned
To hold onto up there.

I still can hear his music;
In his music was his heart.
So if you can think of him and sing
You'll never be apart.

And though I know he left too soon
Please be strong my friend,
Because however beautiful the tune
Every song must end.



God Bless, Peter.






Photo credit here.

Your Life Explained in Graphs (Part 2)

Musings

                              any guesses why I chose this picture?

Today I feel like my life is in a state of limbo.  I don't know how else to describe it.  I had a chance to get out of the office at one point today and got what felt like the first tease of summer.  Sure we're not even into spring yet.  Sure it's only seventeen degrees, which for all my American friends (love you guys!) translates to around 63 degrees give or take.  But I felt the warmth of the sun, and saw the warmth in the smiles of all those around me who welcome a day like this as much as I do.  Winter has for the time shed its overcoat like the big reveal on some TV fashion show, and I like what I see. A lot.

  I'm eager to get things started, to see how the coming months will unfold.  I think a lot of this restlessness is just revelry in the temporary escape from the occasional drudgery of life's daily routine; the invoicing, contracts and reports that come with a management position that makes me sometimes question how I got here.  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love what I do and I work with amazing people.  Still I think we all ask ourselves this at one time or another. 

  There's so much I could and should be doing at this moment, yet all I want to do is write.  Throughout the course of today I could think of little else but drafting a poem I started writing this morning.  Or more precisely last night, when a couple lines came to me in those peaceful brief moments before sleep.  Not surprisingly it has heavy romantic undertones; try as I may to write about anything else I always seem to return to matters of the heart.  Much as a child who wants to paint a picture of a house but always ends up painting a tree.  Why is that?

  I think this year will bring good things.  I can feel it, I have so much hope for the year ahead.  Sandy and I will freshen up the house as we continue putting the finishing touches on our renovations.  The deck/pergola in the backyard will receive a couple coats of stain in anticipation of good times ahead shared with friends and family.

  I'm really looking forward to summer.  The sounds, smells and sights that just make you glad to be alive.  Tuner cars with the music pumping.  The unmistakble scent of barbeques wafting through the air.  Women in various states of dress, hair blowing in the breeze, soaking up the sun.  By far the best part of summer.

 I look forward to getting to know all you guys better, in forging new friendships and strengthening those already in place.  I knew last year that starting a blog would be a new experience but I didn't realize how much effect others would have on me.  I certainly didn't expect to affect anyone myself.

  Here's to restlessness, and the year to come.



Photo credit here.

Bloggers over Borders follow-up

So how's everybody doing so far, got any stories to share?  Perhaps you've hit a snag and are short on time or wondering what to send the blogger you're partnered with. If there's anything I can help with lemme know.




Photo credit here.

Your Life Explained in Graphs (Part 1)

Getting My Happy On

Does the title sound like something I could get arrested for doing in public?  I dunno.  Anyway...

 Recently I received the Happy 101 Blog Award from Jamie at Life as I Know It.  If you're looking for a good place to lift your spirits check out her blog.  And be prepared to be greeted by one of the brightest, most incredible smiles you've ever seen.

There are four rules that come with this award:

1. Copy & paste the award on your blog.  Checked.
2. Name the person who gave the award to you and link to their blog (or hyperlink). Checkaroonied.
3. List 10 things that make you happy.  Yuh-huh.
4. Pass the award on to other bloggers and visit their blog to let them know. M'kay.

Alright, here's a list of ten things that make me happy.

1. Sandy (my wife).
2. Weekends.
3. Massages.
4. Watching and listening to a thunderstorm.
5. Creative people.
6. Winks and smiles.
7. Being confided in.
8. Spending time in my studio.
9. Writing.
10. All you beautiful people who give me awards and write flattering comments that make me go "aww" and cause my face to scrunch up into pathetically mushy but genuinely sincere expressions from the sheer joy of knowing each and every one of you.  This is due mainly to the fact that (as anyone who knows me will attest) I'm basically a slut for attention.  Also if I don't feel that I can make a difference in someone's life I'll probably shrivel up and die like a prune left out in the Nevada Desert sun, even though I'm a bazillion miles away from Nevada and currently don't own a valid passport. 
Plus an ego stroke and feeling accepted never hurt anyone right?

I pass this on to the following:

 A Collection of Things I Am Absolutely Unsure Of
 Curvaceous in the City
 Tattoos and Cupcakes
 Shop T.O. Live
 Nikles and Dimes
Scattered Thoughts by Breenuh
Coffee Calculations and Columbia
Designing With Light
Her Armoire
fragments, treasures, memory
 
Thanks Jamie and to everyone else who reads me.  I suggest a massive group-hug, whaddya say?

Colours

                                                                

Greet dawn's break with stormy eyes.
Heart pounding,
Mind restless, and wild.

Throughout the night
Memories of The One
Held you captive in their grasp, relentless.
Like a book you can't put down,
Or the forever echo of a lover's beckon
On a fire escape at midnight.

But memories cannot be held nor protected.
They run like watercolours in the rain
Bleeding into one another
Until they're left unrecognizable, distorted and dark.

Perhaps the answer lay
Not in struggling to preserve
These most precious of moments
But in our ability
To paint each day anew.





Photo credit here

Secret Friday

Happy Friday everybody! In some parts of the world a few of you have already begun your weekend so I hope it's off to a good start.

It's time for the thirteenth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to anonymously share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

If you get something from this I hope you'll consider hosting one on your blog as well. Feel free to copy and paste the guidelines below if you choose. All I ask is that you keep a regular eye on your feedback; contributions can be intense sometimes and people writing in need to be respected. It's very important. If you decide to do this on your blog please, please let me know. If we link to each other I think we could start something great.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wishes to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post a secret or fantasy anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can post as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) I'll be participating as well. (After twelve of these I have to dig deeper!)

6) Feedback directed towards me is welcome, anonymously or otherwise.

7) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

And now to it...

Chilean Relief Efforts

I'm reposting this on behalf of my very dear friend Cindy.  Her family in Chile was one of many who felt the devastation of the earthquake and aftershocks. They are very much in need of assistance, I hope you'll consider joining me in doing whatever you're able to help.  Even a small amount from many can make a difference.


Please visit the Banco de Chile site and donate to the Chilean telethon earthquake relief efforts. This is the official site and of course it's completely secure and safe.

Click here  https://www.bancochile.cl/webchile1/Teleton/index_tarjetas_ex.html

They've been on television ALL night fund raising and they're up to $14m... trying to get $30m! You can see streaming of the telethon efforts at http://www.latercera.cl/.



While I sit here on my fancy couch dressed in overpriced jeans and drinking sweet tea, I can't help to think of my own family that has no running water or electricity, and of the two million folks out there who lost it all and just sit and wait for a government truck to show up with water and pasta.

"If you can't feed hundreds of people, then just feed one"

~Mother Theresa

You may also text CHILE to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross.

Put it all in perspective and let's help rebuild this little strip of land one day at a time.

FUERZA CHILE!!!!
PS. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU'D LIKE TO REPOST THIS ENTRY AND I'LL EMAIL YOU THE CODE TO MAKE IT REALLY SIMPLE! I WOULD TRULY APPRECIATE IT!!!!

Strength Through Adversity

I'd like to share the story of a couple bloggers I met recently. I first stumbled across Shannon last month and was struck by a post that was so heartfelt and vulnerable it made me want to know more about her.  What I found inspired me.

Shannon's partner Megan was involved in an accident in November of 2007 that left her paraplegic.  Through the course of Megan's recovery Shannon stood by her every step of the way, and although it was at times a struggle they both pulled through.

             Megan                                                          Shannon

What really moved me is their outlook on life and their relationship. They've both allowed me to inquire about these events and present their story in the form of an interview, it's a long post but it's a story that I feel really needs to be told.  I hope you find this as inspiring as I do.


Megan:

Can you tell us a bit about the accident?
It was the night before Thanksgiving in 2007. Shannon and I took a trip down to Charlotte [where my dad and step mom lives] to celebrate the holiday. We had planned a romantic evening out to eat but about a week before we headed down there my sister [Katie] wanted to go out to eat with us. So, it turned out to be Katie, Brandon [her husband], a friend of Brandon's, Marc [step brother], and his friend. We had reservations for Nakato [hibachi] but when we got there our seats where not ready so we headed over to the bar to get a few beers. While waiting I have myself two carafes of Sake. [not two shots, but two carafes] We sit down to eat, I only order sushi yet again having another carafe of sake. We head on over to the bar next door because we really weren't ready to go home yet. We get a pool table, get some drinks....a large beer for me and two shots [pineapple upside down and a royal flush] Marc was our DD but when I got finished at the bar we didn't want to go home yet so we headed over to Katie and Brandon's house [which ironically they had just gotten back together a couple weeks prior to this evening] Obviously, open up some more beer and hang out. My eye caught attention of Brandon's 4 wheeler he uses to take on camping trips and took it upon my self to get it out of the garage. We ride around the neighborhood a number of times, each person taking turns. Shannon rides one time with me but decides she doesn't want to do it anymore. So, Katie and I hop on and take it for one last spin. I was driving and Katie was riding. As I was doing a U-turn to go back to the house [this is where my memory goes blank] Katie screams "SLOW DOWN" The next thing I knew, I woke up 6 days later in the hospital with two H rods [which are two titanium rods that are bolted into my spine from T-6 to T-11, my injury is T-7] I had lost both feeling and movement from my sternum down and I will be like this for the rest of my life.


What gave you strength to carry on?
I had a great support system. My Dad and step mom visited me every day while I was in rehab. I would like to say that my "work ethic" had a lot to do with my recovery. I have always tried to succeed in everything that I do and this situation was no different. It wasn't easy but after you repeat doing things so many times you don't even know you are doing them .


How do you view Shannon's role in your recovery, and how has the relationship between you changed?

Shannon was an essential part of my recovery. First, she came out to her boss [being in a same sex relationship] and having to ask her for the month off. Second, she lived in rehab with me, she went from my life partner to my caregiver. She did everything from cathing me, to giving me my blood thinner shots, to doing my bowel programs. Our relationship since definitely has not been a walk in the park but we both know that everything happens for a reason. Our lives have both become humbled in the aspect of us dealing with things a lot differently as well as understanding other peoples disabilities.

How did the Paraplegic Chef (link) come about?
Shannon had started a blog, forgive me, I do not remember what the name of it was. She was blogging about everyday life and things and I sort of wanted to have a blog talking about the everyday things a paraplegic had to go through. It was named A paras life indeed. Well, it wasn't really going anywhere so I kind of just stopped writing stuff. Shannon and I were in the kitchen one night about to make dinner and she said "Hay, why don't you make a cooking blog, that what you did before your accident" So, we took pictures of me cutting all the veggies and such and made a blog!

What activities are you involved in now? What do you want to achieve that you haven't yet?

I am super involved in ASAP [Adaptive Sports and Adventure Program]  (link)

I water ski...

snow ski...

and hand cycle for the moment...

 Right now I don't have the means to do as much as I want because I live 2 1/2 hours away from Charlotte but that will soon change as Shannon and I are moving there in May of this year. I plan on playing tennis and getting more into hand cycling, I really want to race, time trials. Things of that nature. I am training right now for something called Cycle to the Sea. It is a 180 bike ride from Charlotte to Myrtle Beach in just 3 days. I drive to Huntersville and have training rides there with some of the guys from Charlotte. I have to raise $1000 before April and I need a lot of help. If you go to this link you can donate for me! I have written over 40 businesses in Asheville and have only heard from 3 so.....I am getting a little nervous!


What made you believe you could do things that typically require a fully-functioning body?
I could ask any able bodied person what they would do if they were to become paralyzed, there answer would most likely be "I wouldn't be able to", or "I would kill myself", or "I couldn't handle it". It is more or less for me, I gotta do what I gotta do. There are some things I am not able to do but I learn to adapt. Some tasks might take a little longer but I am in no race in life. Time does heal everything and the longer I live with paralysis the easier it gets.

Do you have any advice for someone living with a disability?
Don't give up, don't sit back and watch your life waste away. No one said life was easy, no one said paralysis is easy but we all have been at the point of giving up. You have to keep your head up and stay positive. I feel very good about where I am in my life, I have accomplished all my goals I have set out to reach, but then I keep making new ones, harder ones.


Shannon:

How has this experience changed you? Do you feel it's made you a better person?
Honestly, and I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but I don't think it's changed me, or made me a better person. I've been the type to support the ones I love my entire life. I've always been the type of person that's sympathetic and emotional about other's life obstacles. When Megan was in her accident, the thought of leaving her or not being able to "handle it" never even slightly crossed my mind . It was already a part of who I was, to stand by her side and be there for her 100%. It wasn't what I had to do, it was what I wanted to do. The only way in which this experience has changed me, is that it has opened my heart to a whole new world of people and taught me so much, and that's a beautiful thing.


How has this changed your relationship?
We've learned so many things, and grown up together because of it. People joke and say we're 25 going on 50. People tell us in all seriousness, that we have old souls. Having this happen in our lives has forced us to see what really is important in life, and we try to stay focused on that daily.


Not everyone would stand by their partner in the face of a traumatic situation such as this. Where did you draw your strength?
It's funny, because I've been a hypochondriac since I was a little girl. I've gone into full fledged panic attacks from thinking that I was dying, and been medicated for my anxiety. I was a wreck the night of the accident. I was a puddle of worry, fear, and helplessness. I thought I was going to lose my soul mate. Do you know how scary that actually is? You see it in the movies all the time, and look at your significant other and say "What would you do if that happened to me?" or "I would not want to know what that feels like to go through that..." but it did happen to us. It wasn't a question, if I could handle it or not. It was a test of true love, and no one can say what we have isn't real.


What advice would you give someone who is struggling with providing support for a loved one with a disability?
No matter how much it hurts, and how hard it is to watch them struggle, do not do everything for them. You would only be enabling them to be immobile, and hurting them and their health in the long run. You have to let them learn how to do things on their own. They have to adapt. In the end, they will be much stronger, much healthier, much more independent, and happy with themselves and their life.


A few journal entries from Shannon:

"I can go on and on about how much our lives are going to change from this split second accident. But I'm going to tell you the one thing that's NOT going to change and that's my love for her, and her love for me. She doesn't need her legs to love me. I only need her heart and soul."

"Things will be okay. They have to be. She's still got her life. Everything happens for a reason I always say. Every dark cloud has a silver lining. We may or may not ever know why this happened. The reason doesn't really matter. We just have to take it, and do with it what we can and deal with it the only way we know how. And that's with optimism, hope, determination, strength, motivation, and acceptance."


 
Parting words from Megan:
 
Life after my Spinal Cord Injury has not been the easiest. That doesn’t mean I regret what I did. That doesn’t mean I hate my life. That doesn’t mean I think my life is over. I’m grateful every day for what happened to me. I’m alive, and I get to see the sunrise and sunset. I get to spend time with my partner of four years who loves me very much and who I love just as much. I get to spend time with my family and with my dogs. I no longer have an alcohol problem. I live with challenges everyday, but who doesn’t? Mine just may be different than yours. Everything heals with time. I go to support groups here in Asheville and also in Charlotte to speak with others who are in my situation. We share ideas and stories, problem solve, and just hang out and chat. I’ve met some amazing people along the way. I’ve taken a drivers test and passed, and am getting hand controls installed in our car so I can have my independence back.
 
 

 
I will be going back to school to get a degree in psychology. I want to work in a Rehab clinic where I can speak with people who are in the situation I was and let them know their life isn’t over. I want to peer mentor people in my situation who need to talk to someone who’s been there before. I’m doing something with my life now. I’m making something of myself, and just because I’m in a chair doesn’t mean I can’t do it. You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it.
 
 
Shannon and Megan I want to thank you for collaborating with me on this,  you're a tremendous inspiration.  I love you both.

The Heart of a Writer

"A good writer possesses not only his own spirit but also the spirit of his friends."
-Friedrich Nietzsche




Photo credit: weheartit.com

The Latest Addition to our Family

I'm happy to pass on the news that we have a new family member.  Nutkin was obtained from my good friend Shannon, and was my first Etsy purchase.  He's one of her first attempts at sewing, and the little quirks make him that much more special to me.  Since getting him on Friday he's made himself quite at home.


He's made friends with Widget...

and Dante...

and Belle...

                                           

Nutkin also met his new buddy.  They'll both be hanging out with me at work starting Monday...

Fortunately he's already potty trained...

Nutkin has proved himself pretty handy around the house.  He cooks...

after this meal he was pretty stuffed. (Get it?)

has his drivers license...

and helps with renovations...

He's great company.  Hangs out with me in my studio...

and loves Sandy's lattes...

We'll have to keep an eye on him though 'cuz he likes to party pretty hard.  He had a little too much fun at his homecoming...

Thanks for sending him my way Shannon.  Don't worry I'll take care of him, he just has to sleep it off.  ♥