"If you try to please everyone you'll end up pleasing no one."
I read something yesterday that reminded me of a draft I began working on then put off to the side. The post completely held my attention and has been endlessly reverberating through me for over a day, like a huge iron bell freshly struck. I decided I had to finish writing this and tell you about it because they both tie in so well.
It was written by 'Missy' at "oh missy me.." I first came across her, well, I don't know how long ago but it's easily been close to a year and a half. Her writing is down-to-Earth and unpretentious, as most of ours is, and always left me wanting more (although I don't usually comment I do drop by to see what's up). But as is too often the case she had also been holding back.
I think at some point most of us feel restrained in what we can comfortably write when familiar eyes are upon us. People who don't blog usually don't seem to "get it". Why the need to write such personal things in public? Why air your dirty laundry for the world to see, aren't you embarrassed to write that? They don't realize how therapeutic blogging is. It goes so, so far beyond simply putting our thoughts and feelings down; if that were all there was to it we'd just keep a private diary or journal. For many of us though our blogs are our heart and soul laid bare, turned inside-out and in some cases ripped from our very core. We bleed words and make no apology for it because we know there are those who feel as we do and understand. There's empowerment, strength and healing in these shared experiences.
Often those who "get us" the most are people we've never met and most likely never will. Why? Because we share no past history. They have no preconceived notion of who we were before we came along and so, there are no surprises. Still there's always something we feel we should hold back, maybe a tough time we went through in our lives that we can't share publicly with others because we'll drag loved ones into it with us. We'll never be able to express ourselves the way we want while those closest to us read our blog. I have friends and family I love dearly who may be reading this right now and what I've written is nothing personal it's just a fact, common amongst dozens of people I've met and dare I say thousands more I haven't. Yet.
We'll also most likely never confide in our friends and family the way we do our closest blogging friends. I say this based on the countless times you, my dear readers, have said you share things with me that you wouldn't tell anyone else. I do the same. There's a certain comfort in having that computer screen between us and when we grow to trust someone over time it often feels safer than anything we might find in 'real life'. This may sound completely counter-intuitive but it's pretty much impossible to explain to those not involved.
So back to Missy's post. I haven't featured another blogger lately and she doesn't know I'm writing this (she will soon enough!) but her post "oh eff it" was too delicious to keep from you guys, not so much because of its content specifically but its message. Here's a girl who grew balls (as she put it), found her voice and spoke out against those who would threaten to stifle her. It's a significant step in reclaiming independence and individuality and I couldn't have been any prouder of her as I read it.
'Missy', I always enjoyed your writing. But yesterday...wow, yesterday. You totally blew the roof off this bitch and it was a beautiful thing to see. Respect.
While I'm at it I'd like to also give a shout-out to Charlotte at This Path of Lilly's. She recently came out from behind her anonymous blog and has bravely pushed on while keeping all her original posts intact for all to see. I think that's pretty admirable.
Plus she referenced my blog several times over the past week which in itself deserves a mention. Thanks Charlotte, it's a pleasure getting to know you!