Wednesday, June 30, 2010

If We Can't Frustrate Him To Death, Let's Just Kill Him



  Ever have those times when you feel someone's out to get you?  I'm not prone to paranoia, but I'm pretty sure somebody has it out for me.  And their method of offing me has been a slow, painful death through of all things...technology.

  In the past week or so, pretty much any electrical device that plugs into the wall in our home has gone on the fritz.  First the bulb in our big screen TV blew.  As the replacement cost is about $400 (yes you heard that right), we're using our 29" for now.  Then the back-up battery for Sandy's computer died.  Within about a day of this happening we had a power hit that must have fried the circuitry in our oven clock, as it now presents the time in Klingon.  Put another way, ever watch the movie Predator with that digital readout the creature had before everything exploded?  That's just what it looks like.

  Fortunately we have like thirty seven other clocks within about six feet of the oven so it's not much of an issue.  (Ironically, the clock outside on our patio fence probably keeps the best time of any of them).  Then we lost our satellite feed in a storm.  Followed by our phone, followed by our internet.  And if you're like me when you lose your internet, it's like a child without their security blanket.

  So we call our internet provider and a technician comes out to fix the problem.  When he's done everything works fine...until he leaves.  The following day a tech from the phone company (who also provides our internet) comes out.  He doesn't express much faith in the previous guy, nonetheless he's able to troubleshoot our internet and fix the phone issue.  When he's done everything works fine...until he leaves and the phone starts crackling again shortly afterwards.  The good news is we are able to use our phone, watch TV and use the internet.  I can live without the phone and TV, but giving up the net?  If it's a choice between that, water or air I'd really have to think about it.

  Okay, so we pull through all that.  Then a couple mornings ago I'm driving into work on the 401.  For those of you who don't know, Highway 401 has been affectionately referred to as a death trap.  The stretch (which I drive daily) that runs through Toronto is apparently the busiest and widest in North America.  (Years ago at a performance driving weekend my instructor told me it's the most dangerous highway he's ever driven.  Worse than LA, worse than the Jersey Turnpike).

  So here I am, doing about 120 km/h, or about 74 mph for those of you who don't speak Canadian. There's a guy in the Audi in front of me, whom I'll refer to as buddy, doing the same speed.  There's another guy we'll call dude, in the lane to our left and ahead of us with his right turn signal on.  Buddy sees this but doesn't expect that dude's actually going to make the lane change.  Well, dude is coming over regardless of who's in that space.

  Dude, going about 80km/h (50 mph) cuts right in front of the Audi and buddy has to hop on the brakes to avoid a spectacular crash resulting in certain fiery horrific unprecedented doom. (Okay so maybe that's being a little melodramatic).  I divert around this mess through the merge lane.  I figured maybe dude was having a mechanical issue and had to get on the shoulder but nope, he just wanted that lane right friggin' now.  Apparently he never studied the law in physics which states that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.  Anyway, this incident was really nothing unusual compared with what I see every day.

  That same day I go for lunch.  The establishment I'm eating in (which I often frequent) has a great salad bar, which they had just prepared.  I think to myself, "Hey Barry, how about a kick-ass salad?" And I reply, "Hey, don't mind if I do," quickly followed by "Hey, why am I talking to myself?"  I go to grab some of the tossed salad they've put out and notice it has slivers of..something on it.  Now, as someone who is allergic to nuts of all kinds my culinary radar is always out.  So I ask one of the staff if these slivers are nuts.  My mistake was in thinking this was a simple question requiring a yes or no answer.

Me: (pointing to the stuff on the salad) "Are these nuts?"
Him: "Oh they're (something incomprehensible)."
Me: "Are they nuts?"
Him: "Nah, they're (did he just say nachos?)"  Apparently when handling food that can potentially put someone in hospital, speaking in a native language isn't high on the priority list.  "Here," he says handing me a sample. "Try it."
Me: "I have a serious nut allergy. They look like nuts, can you go check?"
He goes back to the kitchen and after what seems like forever (in all fairness they may have been doing forensic testing on it) he walks out.

"They're almonds," he proudly professes, smiling, as if it's something as far-removed from nuts as possible. Are you fucking kidding me? SO not impressed at this point.

"I just told you I have a bad nut allergy and you wanted me to eat these. Do you have any idea how serious this is?"

*Blink* Clueless.  Like...tossing a cute fuzzy bunny off a twenty-story building and wondering why people are so upset, kinda clueless.

I'm not one to rat anyone out but this could easily happen again, and the next person may not be so lucky. So I go to the manager (whom I know well) to tell him the story.

Me: "You might want to educate your staff on food allergies, one of your people tried to viciously murder me almost had me eat something I told him I was allergic to."  I don't use the person's name but he knows who it is.

Him: "Was it __?"

Me: "Yes."

Him: "Oh his English isn't that good, he has a hard time understanding. Next time just ask __."

Me: "Well that's great but it doesn't solve the problem. He should be made to understand. And this stuff should be signed as containing nuts."

Him: "We have the holders, we're just waiting for the tags and (something about the salads being changed around every day.  Like I care about the inconvenience of having to change a few signs).

Me: "This is serious shit and it needs to be addressed."

He assured me it would be, the next day he followed up and told me he was taking care of it. We'll see.




PS:  Don't bother trying to call.  Our phones went down again tonight.  *sigh*

Monday, June 28, 2010

Award Time


Jill from Life After College gave me the "Super Comments Award".  I've always been interested in what she has to say, I think you might too so make sure you drop by and check her out. Thanks for this award Jill!

Here are the rules:

•Thank the person who nominated you.
•Post the award in your blog.
•Link to the person who gave it to you.
•Answer 10 questions that come with the award.
•Nominate of few of your favorite bloggers.

Here goes:

1. Why do you blog?

    I started my blog at a time of great self-discovery after a car accident.  The intent of my blog was always to reach out to others, I found that by helping people I was able to ultimately regain something that was missing in myself.   Today I get tremendous satisfaction in speaking with people about their issues or just simply listening.  In additon to just chatting about whatever comes up, I've talked with many of my readers about love and almost every aspect of relationships, sexual orientation, religion, dependency and addiction, depression, rape and abuse, suicidal thoughts and various psychological 'disorders' (I still don't like that term regardless of what the psychiatric field calls it).

    I've taken a growing interest in psychology and have been reading up on areas such as depression and abuse.  I'd like to help more through conversation.  I also hope to educate on my blog through continuing my 'Greater Understanding' series of posts, in which I'll be bringing topics that are kept behind closed doors into the light.  (I'll be looking for participation with this from you guys shortly).  Of course I'll still balance things off with lighter posts as well as my poetry.

2. What are your 3 best memories?  (I'll make it four)
  • My trip to Europe when I was twenty-two. In five weeks my friend and I travelled by train through England, France, Monaco, Belgium, Holland, Luxembourg, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Italy and Vatican City.
  • My 'first time'
  • Performing stand-up at Yuk Yuk's comedy club in Toronto, sharing the same stage with Russell Peters.
  • The day I married Sandy, my best friend.  One of the best days of my life.
3. If you had to change your real name what would you change it to?

Gilbert Buttnoogie


4. What are five things you can't live without?

  • love
  • music
  • arts and literature
  • passion
  • curiosity

5. What are the 4 best books you've ever read?

I'm not much of a reader but I'd have to say:

  • a thesaurus (hey don't laugh, it's invaluable when writing)
  • Shakespeare's Complete Works
  • "Why Women Have Sex" by Cindy M. Meston, PhD and David M. Buss, PhD
  • "Bloodletting" by Victoria Leatham, a true story of self-harm
  • (today I picked up "The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine, my latest foray into the field of female psychology which just may expand this list)

6. Tell me something unique and interesting about yourself.

I occasionally write raps even though I rarely listen to the music.


7. What do you love best about yourself?

I'm a good listener and never repeat what people share with me.


8. What is the best movie ever made?


Casablanca.


9. If you had a "Freaky Friday" experience who would you trade places with and why?

A woman, to experience life through her eyes.  I think it would be an invaluable experience in gaining understanding.


10. What's the best part about being a man?

Being inspired by the mystery of the opposite sex. It drives my writing.


I can't pass this on to everyone, but please know I appreciate the comments that each and every one of you leave me.  I'm giving this 'Super Comments Award' to:

Sandy
Jill
High Heeled Life
Sophia
Yessika
Bernadine
Hebba
Neisy
Eva
Rasha

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Lost



  For Agata, who has always inspired me with words such as these.


Lost


His touch like summer upon your skin
No place you’d rather be,
Waken in dawn’s early light
To find it’s all a memory.

Did he call you baby
Write your name deep in the sand,
Explain the things you never knew
Or didn’t understand.
Did he chase away the lurking ghosts
Of lovers from another day
As you surrendered to him completely
And got carried away.

Was he just another shadowed hope
Or The One dressed in disguise,
Among the incidents and accidents
You got tripped up in his lies.
Did he call you his sweet darlin’
While he looked into your eyes
As each and every heart beat
Echoed his goodbyes.
Just what is it makes a man
Turn his back I cannot say,
You got lost on his horizon
And were carried away,
Just carried away.

And the days roll by like freight trains
Speeding down a wrong way track
Try to still the memories in your head
But there ain’t no turning back.
All along you somehow knew
You’d breathe for yourself one day.
Swept up like debris caught in his tide
As you got carried away,
Carried away.

Now you stand on higher ground
In a place where you belong,
Took some time to find yourself
But you were with you all along.
All the love you hold inside
Someone will see one day,
Then I’ll watch the words fall off your page
That you‘ve been carried away.

I’ll sit upon that shore again
And watch you carried away.



MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected

No Bright Ideas Here...


I love lamp,
Lamp don't love me.
Lamp turns me on,
Can't turn on lamp.
It's been three years.

Maybe lamp need new bulb.



MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected

Friday, June 25, 2010

Secret Friday- Curiosity

"These Eyes" by Karma-Manipulation

Hi guys, welcome to the twenty-seventh installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty. All are valid.

Feel free to post any secrets or fantasies you have on any subject. As I mentioned last time, in addition to the regular comments I also plan to pose one question per week. This week's question is:

What do you want to do or try that you haven't yet?

Comments can be left anonymously. Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

And now to it...

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Please God, Make It Stop!..


If there's anywhere on the planet I can get away from this guy could someone please let me know?  I'll buy my plane ticket tomorrow.




Photo courtesy of Ed's Discount Warehouse of Teen Popstars Who Are Famous Until Their Voice Breaks Then End Up On Cheesy Reality Shows With B-Grade Starts While Their CDs Sell In The $4.99 Clearance Bin.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Feelin' the Love

I'm a bit late with this one.  A few days ago I was given this award by High Heeled Life.  Her story has been an inspiration to Sandy and I, if you want to read about the triumph of the human spirit or just meet someone amazing I highly encourage you to visit her. Here's what she said,

 "I would also like to take this opportunity to award Life in Quotations with a very special award for reaching 101 followers!!! Congratulations my friend!!! His blog has inspired me to open up more in my own writing, in hopes that it will also help others. No topic is taboo with this exceptional, thought provoking writer - emotional, intellectual, spiritual, sexual, philosophical, social, physical - he and his readers cover it all, in a respectful manner."

Awesomeness!



I'm asked to list ten things that make me happy:

-my wife Sandy, for her love and support
-my writing
-conversation, and being confided in
-hot summer days
-long legs and short sundresses
-music
-being asked to perform my raps at our neighbour's party on the weekend
-making new friends, here or in person
-the differences between men and women
-anyone who takes a few minutes out of their day to read me.  Thank you.

I'm also required to pass this award on to each of you as you reach 101 followers, so I'll be keeping my eyes open!

HHL, thanks for the award. I know I'll be passing it back to you in no time.  ♥

Friday, June 18, 2010

Secret Friday- So Wrong, But So Right (Hook-Ups and Relationships)



This week's question: 

Have you ever been with someone you knew you shouldn't?

So begins the twenty-seventh  installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty. All are valid.

Feel free to post any secrets you have on any subject.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) Feedback about this feature is welcome, anonymously or otherwise.

6) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

And now to it...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

100 Followers!


With a Little Help From my Friends..


I never thought when I started my blog last year that I'd reach 100 followers.  At the time I was happy when I received one or two comments; it meant that someone was reading. Yet here we are. I've done a little work to find out more about who is reading me, after all this post is mainly about you guys.  Here's what I've discovered.

You come from almost every part of the world; North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa and Australia. 92% of you are female, close to three quarters in your twenties. 100% of you are amazing.  You've given me some of the most memorable moments of the past year, and I thank you all for your kind words and encouragement.  I love the friendships we've developed, don't ever doubt it means a lot to me.

This site has gone through substantial changes over the past year and a bit. It evolved from featuring daily quotations to eventually showcasing some of my own writing.  From there as I grew at ease I began to share my more personal poetry and stories, as well as who I am beneath the surface. It hasn't always been comfortable, in fact at times it's been a little unnerving.  But it's those moments that are most rewarding, because they've been well received.

The intent here was never to make this blog strictly about me.  In the past I've featured work from others; this will continue.  Until recently I tended to steer away from more intense subjects, for fear of either alienating some readers or setting too heavy a mood.  But in a recent conversation one of you reminded me that people who accept me for who I am will be there no matter what I post.  That's stayed with me.

 My self-harm post was pivotal in showing me that there is a place for topics that may make some uncomfortable, because they need to be talked about.  For this reason I plan to explore more subjects of interest that deal with life from all angles; emotional, intellectual, spiritual, sexual, philosophical, social, physical.  This blog is about being open-minded and speaking freely (not just myself but my readers as well).  If I happen to raise a few eyebrows along the way I'll know I'm on the right track.

So I want to thank all of you for following along as I turn my insides out and share my heart and mind. For my part I'll do my best to keep things interesting. Most of all though I want to say how much I appreciate your friendship.

We're only getting started.                                               

Monday, June 14, 2010

Award Time




A few days ago I was given this award by none other than my awesome wife Sandy (thanks hon!)  The rules are simple: list seven random things about yourself and pass it on to others.

Seven things:

1) We're celebrating our thirteenth anniversary today.

2) I petted a bee in our backyard a few weeks ago.  Not sure what possessed me to want to do that, but he/she was more interested in the flower than me. PS: Bees are fuzzy.

3) I once had sex while driving.

4) I've taken a tremendous interest in psychology. I wish I'd have been as interested in this in college; architectural drafting isn't nearly as intriguing.

5) I once asked a pregnant woman if she was seeing anybody, just for the hell of it.

6) My mother bought the car I lost my virginity in. I  could never look at the back seat again without smiling.

7) I've come to value conversation more now than any time in my life.

I'm passing the Versatile Blogger Award on to:

Rasha (if it makes me smile, it's on your blog)

Jordan (a way of writing that makes me laugh so hard I could have milk running out of my nose.  Even if I wasn't drinking it)

Rainey (edgy attitude, hilariously crude, all wrapped up within a voice of reason.  Most of the time.)

Shannon (partner to H.B., mother to Nutkin and a bundle of total amazingness)

Ari (creative talent and frank conversation mixed together in a 5'3" package of Southern dynamite)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Random


                                      "Pray for Rain" by xMacha


More fill-in the blanks...


In 10 years I want to be ten years younger.

Loneliness is a state of mind.

Being happy depends on yourself, no one else.

The best piece of advice I could ever give is if it's blue and fuzzy, don't eat it.

I have always been an idealistic romantic.

The little things we do are often felt the most.

If there's one thing you should know about me it's I'll be a friend through the hard times as well.

Last movie I saw was Turn The Beat Around.

My favorite color is soft pink (not on me).

I couldn't live without passion.

I'll never think I've learned everything.

If I can eat one thing for the rest of my life it would be pasta.

If I could star in a movie I would be James Bond.

If I could write a song it would be "I'll Be" (Edwin McCain).

I think therefore I question.

I love because there's no other feeling like it.

One word: passion.

One state of mind: curious.

If I had my last drink ever it would be some mixed alcoholic fruit drink on an exotic Caribbean island.

If it was possible I would swim in your secrets.

1 million dollars is not enough to make me want to sleep with Pamela Anderson.

I blog because I fear if I don't everything inside me will explode.

Cry. If you can feel then you're alive.

The only thing better than chocolate is sex.

I don't want to love you if you don't appreciate me.

If I was on a deserted island I would want all of you there with me. (Although in that case it wouldn't be deserted then would it?)

I want to be able to fly.

I would kill if it was legal. The death penalty for not using turn signals would make my drive into work so-o much easier.

I sing when I think no one can hear me. If you've ever heard me sing you'd know why.

I would die defending someone I love.

I think one day I might do stand-up again.

I read psychology.

Its easier to hurt than to hurt another.

Kissing is highly underrated.

Hugs can make you forget everything around you.

Midnight phone calls are annoying if it's a wrong number, delicious if it's someone who's adventurous. :)

Water has always been pretty wet if you ask me.

Who ever said money can't buy happiness hasn't driven a Ferrari.

Magic is only possible when you believe.

I would live a hundred years if I could spend it in good health with those I love.

I want to discover everything I don't know yet.

Listen to your heart but  Nothing. Just listen to your heart.

Life is whatever you want to make it.

Age doesn't matter if you're four. 'Cause really, no matter how bad whatever you did is what are they gonna do, arrest you?

I would rather die than betray someone's trust.

I'm sorry for anything hurtful I've said or done that I can't take back.

My blog is me turned inside out.

Jokes are more frequent than funny.

Being helpless is frustrating when you can't reach someone.

Life through my eyes is pretty damn beautiful.

If I was an animal I would be an otter.

Stupidity should be rarer than it is.

Love is everything.

If I could name a planet I'd call it Amnesia. It'll piss off all the astronomers because they'd forget where it is.

My favorite number is somewhere between three and a million.

Randomness is better when it's not planned.

I'm slowly turning into someone I always wanted to be.




"Pray for Rain" by xMacha.  Art credit: .http://browse.deviantart.com/digitalart/fractals/?order=24&offset=48#/d2rre34

Belief


                          "You don't have to believe everything you think."
                                                                                         -unknown




"The Nose Snatcher"- Blvd-Square, 2010.  Art credit here

Friday, June 11, 2010

Secret Friday- Crushin'


Hi guys, TGIF and welcome to the twenty-sixth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty. All are valid.

Feel free to post any secrets or fantasies you have on any subject. As I mentioned last time, in addition to the regular comments I also plan to pose one question per week.  This week's question is:

Do you have a secret crush on anyone? 

I'd love to hear all about it.  Comments can be left anonymously.

Here's how it works:


1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) Feedback about this feature is welcome, anonymously or otherwise.

6) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

And now to it...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

How I Write




Over the past couple months I've had people ask me how I write. Where I draw my inspiration, what process I use to come up with my compositions. Yesterday a very dear friend wrote a wonderful poem on her blog. In her post she also asked for suggestions on how to overcome writer's block. At the risk of seeming self-indulgent I thought I'd take this time to run through some of my philosophy towards writing and discuss the approach I take. (I'll focus specifically on poetry and prose as quite a few of you are aspiring poets). I'm no expert but what follows is what works for me...

Inspiration

Unless it's been for academic reasons I have never actively sat down to write a poem. In other words, the inspiration has to be there first before the words can flow on paper. My inspiration comes from several places. Things I've seen, experiences I've had or that others I know have gone through, people I've known, or many things about which I'm just plain curious. In all cases the subjects of my writing have been those I've been passionate about and/or that I romanticize. When I use the word 'romanticize' I'm referring to anything in which I find an underlying beauty and mystique which may in fact be more than it possesses, or that others may or may not see. For example, Brooklyn was influenced by Springsteen's writing, my attempt at a vignette painted upon a stark urban canvas. For me the main character in that piece wasn't the lovelorn musician but the tenement building in which his girlfriend lived. When I was looking for a backdrop to this story I realized I held a romanticized notion of these buildings, so it seemed like a logical choice. The story played out very clearly in my mind before I ever wrote a word.

Whatever you choose to write has a better chance of being a strong piece if it's about something that inspires you. Where that inspiration comes from will be different for everybody. For some it comes from a very dark place and the result can make for heavy, even disturbing reading. This is perfectly valid, because to my mind the purpose of poetry is to evoke emotion in the reader. Your writing is an expression of who you are and what you're feeling.  No one is to say if it's right or wrong.

Motivation

So how do we stay motivated to write? Why is it that some of us stumble and stagnate while others seem to consistently turn out compositions? (Doesn't it frustrate you sometimes to see that?) I have some unfinished pieces that will probably sit for a while until something prompts me to return to them. Others have almost written themselves, and those that have were invariably about things of which I felt intensely. Again, motivation is helped by writing about a subject I feel so strongly about that it will hold my interest long enough to finish it.

Writer's block. Sucks doesn't it? I think we all experience it at one time or another. I've found no magic solution to overcome this, sometimes it just takes time and patience until the mood strikes again. But there are a few ways to combat it. First, many of us have a tendency to put too much pressure on ourselves. It may seem counter-intuitive, but sometimes just putting it down and walking away for a while helps. If I give it a day or two and come back, often I'll find I can approach it with a fresh set of eyes and take it in a direction I may not have thought of before because I was too close to it.

Another approach to overcoming writer's block is to simply sit down and start. Think of a subject that inspires you.  If writing is something you enjoy, try to do it as much as possible. You may find that when it becomes a habit, words will come more easily.

Perspiration

Okay so maybe you won't sweat much, but if you're putting all of yourself into your writing you'll still find that you're exercising your heart and mind. You may even find the process emotionally draining at times. This for me is when it's most rewarding, because I know I've reached down and pulled out something very personal. Things like this tend to resonate with people.

I find writing poetry or prose very much like putting together a puzzle. I'll be in the shower or drifting off to bed when an idea strikes me. This is always followed by words, lines and phrases that come to mind. I'm never too far from a pen and paper; I keep one on my reading side table in the living room, on the desk in my studio, in the glovebox of the car. (This is often where a lot of things come to mind. It isn't easy trying to jot down notes when you're crawling along in rush hour traffic!)

These notes end up in the form of various scrap pieces of paper, which I input regularly on my computer (I always compose on a word processor; it's so much easier to rearrange things). If I wake up at 2:00 in the morning and think of something I'll write it down, even if I'm too sleepy to know if it's good or if it can't be used in anything I'm currently writing. This is where the fun begins. I start to piece together these random thoughts as I would a puzzle, discarding what doesn't fit, adding more and tweaking certain words here and there. This process can take days, weeks or months.

I tend to write in 'free verse'; I usually find trying to fit thoughts into rhyme somewhat restrictive because I tend to look for words that will make it conform to a scheme rather than convey what it is I want to say. When I am composing in rhyme I take a more methodical approach. Usually a rhyme scheme will come to mind that lends itself to the poem.  It's not anything I consciously choose.  I'll use the last stanza from Released as an example:

What goes on in your good-girl mind
What shadows lurk, what secrets to find?
Would you surrender yourself
For one night of sin
When the wind blows through your door
And the wolf creeps in?

Let me simplify the structure to illustrate my point...

What goes on in your good-girl mind
What shadows lurk, what secrets to find?
Would you surrender yourself for one night of sin
When the wind blows through your door and the wolf creeps in?


I rarely have the entire verse in my head when I start, so I might literally notate it like this on the page (screen):


What goes on in your good-girl mind   A
                        , what secrets to find?   A
                                                of sin  B
When the wind blows through your door and the wolf creeps in?  B


I virtually never have time to write a poem in one sitting.  Instead the process consists of stolen moments, jotting down words here and there as I'm able until the piece gradually comes together.  It's easy to forget the meter of the poem between the time I begin writing and the time I come back to it, so often I'll fill it in with 'nonsense' words (which I distinguish)...

What goes on in your good-girl mind   A
Where do you go, what secrets to find?   A
Can you uncover the dark for one night of sin   B
When the wind blows through your door and the wolf creeps in?  B

These lines don't have to make sense, I just use them as temporary 'placeholders'.

Now a few random thoughts:

-Have a specific intent in mind before you write. What story or message do you want to convey?

-Write when the mood strikes you, but don't force it. It's rarely productive.

-Don't rush the process, have fun with it.

-Be prepared to toss out some lines or phrases that don't fit in with the mood of your poem. Just because it sounds pretty doesn't mean you have to use it.

-Keep whatever you don't use, as it may find its way into another piece later on.

-Once you're satisfied with what you've written, put it down and come back to it a day or two later. You may find there are some changes to be made. I'm forever reworking what I thought was finished.

-Decide who you're writing for. You may choose to present something you've written to friends and family, if so be prepared to be critiqued. But if it's something you love, that's all that matters. Even if it isn't strong technically, your writing is an expression of who you are. Again, there's really no right or wrong.

I look forward to reading more from you.  ♥

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Darkness



Darkness

Until that night I dared follow
When you thought me not around,
To the shadowed place where you retreat
To play within your darkness.

Silent through midnight’s blue,
Night fell cool upon your breast
Nightgown clinging, hair blown by untamed gale.

Rage of frail curtains blown tattered upon your window,
Tossed asunder.

And I, your eyes averted,
Silently mirrored your descent down spiral stairs.
Brushing aside cobwebbed memories
With each cautious step.

You asked aloud for someone there,
No one answered but the night.
And within your windblown heart
I wonder if you remembered
That I once swept through there too.

Daybreak peered through gaping floorboards.
And huddled in a corner,
Knees pulled to chest
You did not stir.
Nothing but to hold silent vigil
Until you were ready
To face the light again.

If I close my eyes
Will you take me to your hiding place
Where you mend pieces of your shattered past,
In those quietest of hours
Lit by memories of brighter days
And a more hopeful tomorrow?



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Friday, June 4, 2010

Secret Friday- Your 'First Time'


What else is there to say but TGIF!  I can't wait for the weekend, but first I'd like to turn your attention to something new.  Secret Fridays has a new face.

Each week I'll be featuring a question.  Although it'll be the theme of the post, also feel free to write in with a secret about anything else you like.  I'll continue with these questions until I run out of ideas, which is where you come in.  If you have a suggestion on a question to ask, please drop me an e-mail.  Make your question as conservative or racy as you'd like, all will be considered and may be used.
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Today's question is: How was your 'first time'?  (How old were you and your partner?  Was it all you imagined it would be?  If you haven't yet had sex, what do you envision your first time being like?)
Comments can be left anonymously.

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Welcome to the twenty-fifth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

If you get something from this I hope you'll consider hosting one on your blog as well. Feel free to copy and paste the guidelines below if you choose. All I ask is that you keep a regular eye on your feedback; contributions can be intense sometimes and people writing in need to be respected.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post a secret or fantasy anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can post as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) Feedback about this feature is welcome, anonymously or otherwise.

6) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

And now to it...