Solitude

"Don’t knock on my door
 And you won’t know I've shut you out,
 Don’t call me
 And you won’t know I'm ignoring you.
 Let me deal with this
 In my own way
 Like I always do.


 Alone.


 Maybe these things
 I keep bottled inside
 Will somehow dissipate on their own,
 Like carbonation
 Fading over time.
 It hasn’t happened yet
 After all these years.
 Maybe this time will be different."


So...how's this working for you so far?


Photo credit here

Secret Friday

Hey everyone, welcome to the thirty-second installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

6) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free. You may copy the rules if you wish.

And now to it...

Dear God

To be continued...

Fervour

Her name was Hope, mine Impassioned.  She settled upon me like a summer breeze, staying long enough to turn my world upside down before taking it with her when she raged through me.  The most indelible moments in our lives always seem to start with a whisper, ever notice that?

Dealing With Stress

"It isn't what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it's what we say to ourselves about what happens."
-Pema Chodron

Several weeks ago the bulb on our big screen TV blew (about $400 to replace which isn’t a huge priority right now), our phone line went dead (it took visits from three technicians and a week before the problem was fixed), we lost our satellite feed in a storm, we lost our internet connection, the battery back-up for our computer died and the digital readout on the oven clock was permanently scrambled in a power hit.

A week ago our furnace finally gave in (after twenty years it was to be expected, we just didn’t know when it would happen). Several thousand dollars to replace. Two days ago our basement bathroom started to flood when the drain in the window well became clogged. I'll be spending part of the holiday weekend with a shovel digging it out and fixing it.

Yesterday our phone line died again and the internet connection cut in and out. I wrote most of this post in a Word document as I couldn't open my blog.

Flashback to 2008. In the first month, Sandy was in hospital three times. I had my car accident in April, shortly afterwards we had the same flooding problem in the bathroom (twice within a week). My father had a heart attack and quadruple bypass, Sandy’s mom passed passed away in the Fall and a friend of mine from my hobby club also died.

Sometimes it feels like life is relentlessly throwing shit at you. We all feel this way at some time or another, and I know many of you are feeling like that now. So how do we deal with all this when it seems never-ending? 

I think the most important thing to do is try to look at things logically and try to minimize your emotional reaction. As someone who’s ruled by his heart and not his head I know this is easier said than done, believe me. But if you want any hope of getting over obstacles life brings, you really do have to keep your attitude in check. Your outlook is everything, and in the end it’s what will get you through. All the help in the world from others won’t completely help if your head’s not where it should be.

If there are a lot of things happening right now, I suggest writing out everything that’s going wrong around you. Divide them into two groups; things you have some control over and those you don’t. Put aside the things that are beyond your control. Yes you’ll worry and stress about them but most of your energy needs to go into those which you can do something about.

Rank them in importance (severity) from worst to mildest. Then go over this list and evaluate how bad these things really are. In the case of everything happening to us lately, it’s not that any one thing is bad, it’s just that they’ve all come one after the other which has the potential of being very aggravating.

I look at dealing with problems much like an air traffic controller would land airplanes. Stack ‘em, pack ‘em and rack ‘em. Try to take things as they come instead of looking at them as a whole. Bite-size pieces are more manageable.

I rarely let stress get the better of me at work. Part of what I do is prioritize situations. Another way of combatting a potentially stressful situation is to take deep breaths throughout the day. It’s as simple as that really, and I find it does wonders. Also, any form of physical activity will go a long way in helping the body and mind stay sharp. Getting proper sleep is also important (although I’ve been really bad with this).

Sex can be a great stress-reliever. Some women find the best way to blow off steam is to get physical between the sheets, although I think this is the exception rather than the rule; I don‘t believe too many women are in the mood for sex when they‘re stressed. (Guys would have sex in the middle of a gunfight so I’m not including us here). Orgasm has been shown in studies to permanently relieve headache symptoms due to the release of endorphins, the body's 'feel-good' chemical.  Just sayin' it's worth a try, and if it doesn't work are you any further behind?  :)

Pillow Talk

"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep.  Not fuck, like in those movies.  Not even have sex.  Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase.  But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating.  So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk,  thinking that if people were rain,  I was drizzle and she was hurricane."
                                                   -John Green, Looking For Alaska

Secret Friday

 Hey guys, welcome to the thirty-first installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

6) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free. You may copy the rules if you wish.

And now to it...

A Greater Understanding-Living With An Alcoholic Parent

  This is the latest in my "Greater Understanding" series.  These posts introduce things in life that many of us may never experience, through the words of some of you who have lived them. They're not always comfortable to talk about, not always pleasant, but I really believe we need to open more dialogue if we're ever to understand what some people go through.  Because it's only by understanding that we can create empathy and compassion.

  This entry was generously written for me by a new reader.  As someone who spent my teen years and most of my twenties around an alcoholic stepfather, this story resonates with me. I want to thank her for submitting it.
                                             ____________________
   My father was a most complicated man, distancing us not only from him, but never allowing us contact with his family. An alcoholic, the damage he inflicted on all of us was significant and evident today in all of our relationships. I think my mother tolerated him and had somewhat of a relief when he died, at home unexpectedly. I couldn't cry or even mourn at his death. In fact, given all the odd things surrounding his death, we were surprised that they didn't think we knocked him off. I have been told by a therapist that adult children of alcoholics have a hard time having fun. I wonder if they have a hard time feeling grief too.

  “He’s a diabetic” I tell the coroner.. “Was a diabetic…” I correct myself as if she thought differently. Her eyes darted from the whiskey glass and half empty beer dregs to the empty bowls with their tacky film of melted ice cream. She opened the drawer. A carelessly tossed pile of chocolate bars. For the kids…I explain. A legal paper lay on the crowded table. I eyed it, relieved we had signed it a few days before.

  It has been hours now. Perhaps three or four. Since I arrived. …. The policeman is still sitting at his guard post in the living room chatting politely to the steady parade of visitors for whom I make tea. And phone calls. He has to wait for the coroner he tells us after the rescue people had left. We find no end to the small talk we make as he sat with us. He must have thought us strong, and brave and “like a rock”, admiring our composure and lack of hysteria. Perhaps he thought we would fall apart as soon as he lft, dissolving into uncontrollable tears.

  I had gotten there as quickly as possible. I had to make calls and arrangements for someone to take care work for me. Besides, someone was already there….so I thought. Someone had to have told her he was dead. She wouldn`t have just assumed on her own.

  When I arrived around 20 minutes later, she was on the phone. Her voice tense and shrill. She was alone. I went to see. Then took the phone from her and dialed 911. The dispatcher tried to talk me through it. It took me a bit to explain that I couldn’t do it, not because I was afraid, but because it had been hours. Sometime in the night.

   After the rescue crews left, we waited for the coroner and then the people from the funeral home, and were left awkwardly with the lone policeman….intruding on our space. We weren`t to be left alone with the body they told us. In the meantime, she flushed his pills in the toilet and made arrangements for his golf clubs. Eating her breakfast. Carefully drying her washcloth in the microwave like she did everyday.

   A small “gathering” . Some words….We had been asked to compile a list……I couldn’t think of anything so I didn’t contribute. His all time favourite song was played….I remember thinking “how could Charlotte Church” be his lifelong favourite. She was only 16 year old. Who on earth were they talking about….we never sang songs in the car together……

  My eyes were drawn to a woman at the back…..the only person crying. She was sobbing….I shrugged when asked who she was……She rose to speak….My heart started to pound. I suddenly felt queasy. A waitress from the pub. She had her own list. Long, emotional, devoted words a dear friend to this incredible kind and generous man. She wept. My mouth fell open with disbelief. Hey Lady, I think you got the wrong wake.

   She skipped the 5 stages of grief and went right to acceptance. The rest of us mourned, not for what we had lost, but for what we never had.

The Eyes Have It

"The strands in your eyes
That colour them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath."

-'I'll Be', Edwin McCain


No two ways about it, eyes are a massive turn-on for me. They're the most mysterious part of the body, by far the most expressive and draw me in more than just about anything else. 

During conversation I always look someone in the eyes. It's one of life's little pleasures, but it can also make it hard to follow along because it's incredibly easy to get lost.  There have been times when I've been talking with someone and realized after a few minutes, "I have absolutely no idea what you're saying."  I never experience this when speaking with men, so it obviously runs deeper than what I see on the surface. 

There's a tremendous connection that can be made through eye contact, it's far more powerful than many of us realize.  We've all heard it said that the eyes are the windows to the soul, that we can tell a lot about a person just by gazing into them.  If we're good at reading body language we can determine a lot of what someone's thinking or feeling by certain aspects of their eyes; the way they appear or where that person fixes their gaze during conversation.  Pay attention and they'll speak without saying a word.

For example, we have very little control over our pupils; they dilate (enlarge) when we're interested in something we're looking at or the person we're talking to. Next time you're speaking with someone you think might be interested in you, check out their eyes.  Flirt a little, then change the subject to something boring and watch what happens.  It's all part of our eye body language (yes, that is a real term.)

I may do a post about body language, flirting and attraction later.  But for now, some of my favourite eye candy...

Okay, who let the emu in??

Guest Poem

  

Today I'm featuring a poem by Jill from Life After College.  The first time I read this I loved it, there's just something about the imagery that makes me smile.  I've often found that my favourite pieces are the ones that leave me feeling this way- no need to overanalyze, just enjoy. 

  Incidentally, I was proud to see that a slightly different version of this poem was published recently on The Whistling Fire. 

 Jill thanks for being such a great friend. I hope you'll keep writing.

Had a Body like a Coke Bottle


To feel her cool, smooth skin
Soft shoulders
Narrow neck, slim waist and long, curvaceous body
Everyone wants her, she is always for sale
Perfect as plastic, bubbly as the air that comes out of her mouth
She’s always in the grasp of my hands, I take her wherever I go
I shake her hips as they rock back and forth
Her curves are flawless, complete, manufactured
I’m thirsty for her love
She does more than touch my heart, she fills up my stomach
like carbonation
Consuming me
She is used to everyone staring at her
They desire her
like the temptation of the ice-cream truck on a hot summer’s day
This makes tears glisten down her cheeks
like condensation


~Written by Jill Sept. 27, 2007

I Want...

I want

A minute of your time,
Or as much as you can spare.
I want to be understood,
Yet make you wonder
What remains beneath my surface
And is yet to be revealed.
I want to have courage
To dig deeper to those places
Of intense thoughts and desire
That we all have, but few share.
I wonder what your reaction would be
If you only knew?
I want to be humble,
Yet keep my cockiness.
Make you think
And feel,
Laugh
And cry.
Maybe even shock you sometimes.
I want more compassion and understanding in the world.
I want to bring people together,
I don't know if I can but I'll try until it hurts.
I want to scream out against responsibility,
Authority and political correctness.
I want to stay passionate,
Intense,
And curious about everything.
I want to be loved
And accepted.

Perhaps most of all,
I want to be remembered
As someone
Who made even a small difference
In your life.

Award Time

Back on June 30th (!) Jamie from "Life As I Know It"  left me the 'You're Going Places Baby' award.  Jamie, thanks for this and sorry it's taken me so long to get to.  If you haven't yet visited her site I recommend checking her out; Jamie's one of the most positive uplifting people I know, and her blog always leaves me feeling better than when I arrived.  And that smile...it gets me every time!

The rules for this one are simple, describe where you'll be in ten years and pass it on to ten bloggers... 

We can never say for certain, but in ten years I see myself in a therapy or counselling role.  I'd love to get into it, because as much as I enjoy what I do now I want to make more of a difference in people's lives. I've been reading books and papers on Psychology (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, female psychology and sexual psychophysiology to date).  It's all for personal interest right now but who knows, it could be the first step leading to some form of career change down the road.  All I know is I'm happiest when I'm helping people with their problems and that's the direction I want my life to go in.

So with that, I pass this on to the following...

High Heeled Life
Joy
Jules
Lilly
Faiza
Connie
Ari
Hebba
Sandy
Cindy
Eva

Hope you're all having a great weekend!

B

Secret Friday-Fantasies

Hey guys, TGIF!  Welcome to the thirtieth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. I'm going to forget about my staffing shuffle at work, or the new furnace we had to purchase this week. Today I want to focus on something sexier and ask you...

What's your favourite fantasy? 

(if it seems ambiguous please indicate whether you're male or female)


Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor. You can write anything, it doesn't have to be in response to the question.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

6) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free. You may copy the rules if you wish.

And now to it...

Welcome To My Mid-Life Crisis (part 3, in which I admit that I'm just having too good a time for it to be anything else)

"Mid way upon the journey of our life I found
  Myself within a forest dark,
  For the straightforward pathway had been lost."
             -Dante Alighieri, 'Divine Comedy'

Something happened on the way to my mid-life crisis. On a visit to the Psychology section of my favourite bookseller recently I came across a book that made me wonder...am I experiencing a mid-life crisis after all? Is there really such a thing? The authors of "50 Great Myths Of Popular Psychology" don't think so. Their argument is that people re-evaluate goals, priorities and experience crises in every decade of their lives. (Hell, just look at what teens go through).

For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, a mid-life crisis has been described as a period of dramatic self-doubt felt by some people in the "middle years" of their life, as a result of sensing the passing of
their own youth and impending old age. Sometimes a crisis can be triggered by transitions experienced in these years, such as menopause or andropause (male menopause), the death of parents or other causes of grief, unemployment, realizing you hate your job or career but not knowing how to earn an equivalent living, or children leaving home. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in your day-to-day life or
situations, such as in career, work/life balance, marriage/ romantic relationships, expensive purchases, or changes to physical appearance.

A large study in the nineties found that the average age of onset for self-described mid-life crisis was forty-six. I was forty-three when I began feeling this way, which was also after my car accident. So is this just a
coincidence? If I hadn't had the accident would I still have felt the unrest that I did, and to an extent that I still do? Is this really a mid-life crisis? I decided to look at it more closely...

People experiencing a mid-life crisis can have some of the following feelings:

Search of an undefined dream or goal

In a sense I feel this very strongly. After I recovered from the accident, and even more so last year, I felt there was something missing in my life. I found that the void was filled through helping others, listening to their problems and giving my input when they asked for it.  And it does more to heal me mentally than I think anything else I could possibly do. The "undefined dream or goal" part comes in because I'm not sure where to go with this. I've been studying Psychology for personal interest, to better understand others (and in the end myself, I guess). But is it supposed to be something I do for self-improvement, or is it part of a bigger plan of which I'm not yet aware?)

A deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished

Not really. I've never been a career-driven person. In grade school and into high school I wanted to be an oceanographer, (until I realized I sucked at Physics, Chemistry and fared little better in Biology). My  real love was English Literature, which has little place in the Sciences. But I can hardly say I regret not getting into that field and I seriously doubt I have any repressed issues over it.

Desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness

I can't say I have a desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness, because I've always had it. I never left my twenties, ever. Never plan to. These days I feel a very strong connection to people in their twenties, it's not something I have to think about or make a conscious effort to feel like I somehow 'fit in'. It's just....I don't know how to explain it. I've met so many amazing people and I love sharing in that energy; the hope, the introspection and even the uncertainty. I relate far more to the angst of those in their twenties than the emotional baggage of those in their forties.

Need to spend more time alone or with certain peers

The need to spend more time with peers, no I'm not feeling that. Time alone? Definitely. There's always been that fundamental difference between men and women, in that men generally seem more content spending time on their own. I've always been very independent, I can find plenty to do in a day alone and I enjoy my own company. Where my writing's concerned it's a time of decompression to gather my thoughts and write posts like this, work on poetry or exchange often profound conversations by e-mail. I find spending my alone time this way incredibly beneficial to my mental and emotional well-being.

People experiencing a mid-life crisis exhibit some of these behaviors:

Abuse of alcohol

Never a concern, as I grew up with an alcoholic stepfather and saw the effects of substance abuse first-hand. I enjoy a drink here and there but getting wasted holds little appeal for me.

Acquisition of unusual or expensive items such as motorbikes, boats, clothing, sports cars, jewelry, gadgets, tattoos, piercings, etc.

Nope, although I've always loved sports cars and vow to still be driving something obnoxiously fast when I'm sixty-five.  A Porsche 911 Twin Turbo would fit the bill nicely...

Depression

Definitely not (although admittedly the thought that I'll be sixty-five in twenty years depresses the shit out of me).

Blaming themselves for their failures

I can't think of anything in my life I'd call a failure. I've made some questionable financial decisions over the years but that's about the extent of it. Blame is a strong word, but I do believe we're all responsible for choices we make that have an impact on our lives. I've never been one to point fingers, but I also try not to beat myself up over things either.

Paying special attention to physical appearance such as covering baldness, wearing "younger" designer clothes etc.

I started losing my hair when I was about twenty-two, and by the time I was in my mid-twenties I was very self conscious about it. I did wear a hairpiece for a while, which actually looked very natural (and was very expensive). Now I'm more comfortable than ever with the way Iook.

As far as "younger" clothes, I own a couple wildly designed t-shirts that I save for larger dance concerts (Tiesto etc) but that's the extent of it. It's completely possible to dress your age and still look good.

Entering relationships with younger people (sexual, professional, parental, etc.)

This one's interesting. I've definitely gravitated towards a younger crowd, and made a lot of friends in their twenties. Burn me at the stake if you want to but I've developed a tremendous admiration for younger women. Fortunately Sandy's very tolerant. Either that or she's waiting for the right moment to kill me in my sleep as a precautionary measure.

Placing overimportance (and possibly a psychologically damaging amount) on their children to excel in areas such as sports, arts or academics

Since I don't have any kids that I know of I have to say no to this one.
 
So there it is, as it stands now. What I'm going through at this stage of my life I don't know.  Call it what you will, I guess there's no great need to put a name to it.  All I know is I'm happier today than I've ever been probably in my entire life with my relationship, my 'career', my friends and family.
 
Who can put a label on that?

What's Your Story? Guest Writers Wanted

 
 

"I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day."
- Douglas Adams

  I've seen a lot in my life.  Still there are many things I want to learn more about.  As I get older I find myself developing a curious fascination for things I may never experience, sides of life much different from my own.

  I think there's often a tendency to simply dismiss or criticize others for certain aspects of their lives that we don't understand or agree with.  Whether struggles they've faced, lifestyle choices they've made or hotly debated subjects like sexual preference or religion, I wonder how many of us really take time to ask questions.  To look into these issues and attempt to understand before forming our opinions.

  With this in mind I'm continuing my 'Greater Understanding' series of posts. With this I want to explore things we tend to shy away from, those that some believe should be kept behind closed doors. If there's one thing I know, it's that there are a lot of people who feel misunderstood.  This is where you come in.

  I'm looking for people who are willing to anonymously share a bit about their lives in the following areas:

  -alcohol or drug dependancy
  -rape or abuse (sexual, physical or emotional)
  -relationships (examples but not limited to): 

• same-sex  
• polyamoury
• bi-sexual
• pansexual/omnisexual
• asexual
• promiscuity

  -lifestyle (examples but not limited to):

• swinger
• BDSM
• D/s

-mental 'disorders' (examples but not limited to):

• depression
• self-harm  (covered here)
• bi-polarity

-eating disorders
-anxiety disorders

  Whether or not I've experienced any of this, regardless of whether it's something I'm interested in exploring or even agree with, I want to know more about it.  I want to understand people better. It would be faster and easier to simply do some research and write about my findings.  But without exception I've found things are easier to understand when heard or read through the words of those who have personally gone through them.

  If you're experiencing (or have experienced) any of the above in your life and you're willing to write a post explaining what you've gone through, please get in touch with me at barrysquotations(at)gmail(dot)com. 

  If you're able to contact me anonymously that's fine, but whether you identify yourself or not please be assured that I will not be passing judgement, your post will be 100% anonymous and your name will never be revealed.  Commenting will be disabled if you choose.  I don't plan to edit these posts, I want to keep them in your own words.  If I strongly feel a change needs to be made for some reason (usually grammatical) I'll notify you before putting it up.

  I hope you'll join me in bringing a little more awareness and understanding to some very important issues. A little compassion can go a long way.


Photo credit here.

Secret Friday

 

Hey guys, is it Friday already?  Seems I haven't worked a full week in a while but it went by pretty fast nonetheless.  We've been enduring 41 Celcius (about 105 Farenheit) temps here in Toronto for several days.  Everyone's complaining about the heat and humidity, the same people who will be wishing for it in the winter.  It's the same story every year.

 Anyway welcome to the twenty-ninth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

Here's how it works:


1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

6) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free. You may copy the rules if you wish.

And now to it...

With Child

   Since I started blogging a year ago I've had some unforgettable moments. I think this post will be one of the most memorable I've ever had the privilege to write.

   Pregnancy is a miraculous time in life. There are those who would feel a woman is somehow less feminine, attractive or desirable during these months. I've always found women beautiful when they're pregnant, and I think amongst all the health concerns, visits to the doctor and shopping trips for clothes and accessories it's important to remember that a woman doesn't just lose these qualities during maternity. I believe the beauty of motherhood should be celebrated.

   So when I discovered Leah was documenting these moments in her sister Joy’s life I knew I wanted to feature it. I’ve known Leah since last year, she's proven herself to be one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and quickly grew to become one of my most trusted friends. I collaborated with these two women and Joy’s husband Nelson, and they've allowed me to feature some of their story. Joy's words follow...

　
   "My husband and I waited for over a year to get pregnant. We consulted our doctors who gave us until November of last year. They said, if nothing happens, we may need to do something else... We kept trying and then we found out we're having a baby, ironically, last November. It was also Thanksgiving Day. The best Thanksgiving thus far..."

   "I can say that it has been a great emotional ride since I found out that I'm with child. The very first time I learned about it, I was very happy and thankful. Thankful that God has heard our prayers cause we have been wanting a baby for quite some time. My husband and I are not that young anymore, hence, it has proved to be a challenge. Every single day has become a learning experience for us. As my little one developed and grew, I've tremendously became more aware of my body. The aches and pains I've had and been having are all a vital part of this pregnancy process."

   "The first time I heard the baby's heart beat was a milestone. I cried... It's like an affirmation of life in my womb... That he is truly there. Another unforgettable moment was when I first felt movement. It was a feeling unlike any other. Now, I still feel such a magical connection with my baby every time I feel him move. His movements have become stronger and more distinct. Sometimes, I'd joke with my husband that this little fellow can be a future football star or perhaps even a wrestler!"

   "I'm very excited to be a mom. Yet, no matter how much preparation my husband and I do such as attending child birth preparation classes, baby care classes, reading books and watching videos on how to rear a baby/child etc... etc.. There's nothing that would really prepare us for whatever lies ahead. We still are hopeful and with much love in our hearts, we'll just take one day at a time and try to be the best parents for this child. I'm truly happy and contented. I can't wait to meet my little one and hold him in my arms.."

　
   "Whatever I'm feeling... Whether it be ache, pains or a tickle... I know that everything has its purpose and meaning. I have loved this little one even before I ever met him and I know in my heart that I will love him more once he's born and forever..."

                                         ______________________


  Joy:  words can't express how it feels to be able to bring this to my readers. I'm deeply grateful to you and Nelson for this opportunity, I've enjoyed working with you on this. 
Leah:  as always your heart shines through in your photographs.  Thank you so much for allowing me to use these images, they're gorgeous. I'm proud to call you my friend.


*All photos taken by Leah Taas. Images may not be redisplayed on another website without due permission.

Don't Let These Moments Slip Away

On Valentine's Day 2002 Katie Kirkpatrick, a freshman at Rochester College in Michigan, was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour. Undaunted she strove to keep up with her studies, but she suffered another setback in 2003 when she was diagnosed with an inoperable lung tumour wrapped around her pulmonary artery. Nonetheless, in 2004 she took part in Lance Armstrong's "Ride For The Roses" cancer fundraiser.

On January 15, 2005 twenty-one year old Katie, the "girl with a contagious smile and unrelenting optimism" who had been battling cancer for three years married Lapeer County Sheriff's deputy Nick Godwin, her high school sweetheart and the love of her life at Church of Christ in Hazel Park, Michigan.

Even in pain and dealing with her organs shutting down, with the help of morphine Katie took care of every part of the wedding planning. Her dress had to be adjusted several times due to her constant weight loss.

An unusual guest at the wedding was her oxygen tank. Katie had to use it during the ceremony and reception. The other couple in this picture is Nick's parents, very emotional to see their son marrying the girl he fell in love with in high school.

Katie listening to a song from her husband and friends.

At the reception, Katie had to take a few rest breaks. The pain wouldn't allow her to stand for long periods of time.

Katie died five days after her wedding day. Seeing a woman so fragile get married with a smile on her face makes us realize how thankful we should be for each day and that no matter how it may seem sometimes happiness is reachable.

Every day I talk to or read of someone waiting for the right circumstances to fall into place.  Guys, time doesn't wait for love.  Love shouldn't wait for time either.  If you feel something for someone, tell them.

Tomorrow may be too late.

Happy July 4th!

To all my American friends,

   Wishing you a very safe and happy 4th of July.  Thank you for your friendship!

xo

Saturday Smile

Secret Friday- Keeping It From Mom And Dad

Hi everyone, welcome to the twenty-eighth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty. All are valid.

I've been running a question each week, which has received a pretty favourable response.  Please keep in mind though that you can still post any secrets or fantasies you have on any subject. I may start alternating and posting a question every other week to allow for more random responses on other subjects.

This week's question is:

What do you not want your parents to find out?

Comments can be left anonymously. Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

6) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free.  You may copy the rules if you wish.

And now to it...