Saturday, May 22, 2010

Battle Studies

I like to think of myself as a romantic. I'm a sucker for poetry, sappy ballads and a good love story.  I believe in 'happily ever after'.  Tend to romanticize people, situations and memories more than I should sometimes.  I believe in chivalry and treating a woman like a lady, although I've never viewed women as the weaker sex.

I see beauty in everything around me.

But I'm also a realist. I don't believe in love at first sight; if anything it equates more to physical attraction. I won't say love at first sight isn't possible, just not probable.  I don't subscribe to conventional views of soulmates; it's hard to believe that in a world full of millions of possible partners we all have just ONE person we're meant to be with.  I do believe in happily ever after, but not as exists in storybooks and movies.  Happily ever after takes work and doesn't always come easily; but it's working through the ups and downs that makes a loving relationship truly rewarding.

So here's the internal battle I'm fighting.  Is it possible for these two sides to exist without one taking over the other?  Can eyes that colour the world with romantic idealism still see it realistically?  Am I just overanalyzing this?



  1. yes yes and yes. you think with your heart but you take responsibility for your actions, thoughts and where they may lead you and others. colour is soooooooo real.

    sometimes one will take over the other. extremes are necessary for us to realize how high we can reach, how far we might fall and how deep we can go.

    i love this question.

    ps. i was born in ajax. woot! woot!

  2. Whoa, for a minute there I thought I was reading in my diary... Honestly though Barry, I ask myself these questions, almost every day. I am the most hopeless romantic you will EVER meet. I dream of my wedding day, I dream of my life, I dream of being a mommy, I dream of being swept off my feet (which with the amazing man in my life, I have) and I'm all for chivalry, on BOTH sex's part...

    but then, I'm like you, I don't believe in love at first site, I'm not sure how i feel about "soul mates" I like to believe my boyfriend is a close soul mate, but I don't believe he is the ONLY soul mate out there for me, you know?

    And you're DEAD straight on the happily ever after... It's not picture perfect... I think that Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton had it right in the song-- Island in the stream when they said: "Tender love is blind, it requires a dedication" that's the key... It REQUIRES dedication to end up happily ever after... God gave us love, and happiness, but he encourages US to create and make it work.. its not a given.

    So, I have to say, Yes Barry, Its possible for eyes that color the world with romantic idealism can be a realist too... We just think with both our head AND our heart ;)

    I love this post and I love your questions and I'm happy that I'm not alone in this question....

  3. live curious! :)
    btw, i am randomly bloghopping.
    exchange links? :)

  4. It's that combination of traits that makes you the amazing person that you are. I wouldn't want it any other way.
    Love you ... to infinity and beyond!

  5. Wow, a bit like reading my own mind. I believe both sides can peacefully co-exist; for me the realism view is just a development of the first - happily ever after does exist but its just something that you have to work hard to achieve because nothing comes simply. Its almost like they are two layers of the same thing.

  6. I think my romantacisim is hiding from me...I don't know what's wrong with me..

  7. This is so true.

    "Happily ever after takes work and doesn't always come easily; but it's working through the ups and downs that makes a loving relationship truly rewarding."

    This part actually speaks loud and clear to me. This is so true. Happily ever after doesn't come easy at all. You have to work on it. I know. Been there done that.

    Thanks for sharing this post, Barry. It spoke bucket loads to me. :)

  8. seriously Barry. Your posts always get to me. even though I am horrible at commenting... I just love this and completely agrees and I love the connection to OUR man John Mayer.

  9. I completely agree. I feel like a hopeless romantic also, but then I always try to keep it real and I try to help my friends realize the realistic side of things...does that make any sense? lol

  10. Ooh, excellent question! I agree with you wholeheartedly that "soul mates" don't exist, but that we can absolutely find our match in a significant other. After we find them we make the choice to pursue that relationship and to work to make it happen, which isn't always easy. I do think that a romantic view can sometimes prevent us from seeing what's really in front of us... but it sounds like you've got a very realistic take on things!