The shelter of my raincoat
The comfort of your hand,
A symphony of thunder
Fills the alley as we stand
Beneath the half-lit marquee
Breathless in this lovesong that we've made,
Cab horns and buzzing neon
Sing their city serenade.
And you capture me like raindrops
Dancing gentle on my tongue
Taste your liquid promises
Unspoken and unsung,
Fog rolling down the backstreet
Conceals this moonlit escapade,
Against my skin your heart beats
To a city serenade.
I began working on this poem late last summer. I had a few lines on my computer and every once in a while when I thought of it I'd go back and play around with it a little; change a word here, add or remove a line there. This was about six months in the making and was a struggle because it just wasn't coming to me. I returned to it tonight after a couple months and it only took me about an hour to tweak and finish it. This poem was going to be much longer but I approached it with fresh eyes and I'm happy with the result.
If you have a piece of writing that's kicking your ass and you have the luxury of time, put it away for a while and come back to it later. But keep at it, eventually it'll take shape.
beautiful :)Love the flow.I take the poems one line at a time haha.Suddenly a wordcomes to me out of the blue..I tweak it into a poem.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sweta!
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely poem! I am following you now, also, dear. :) x
ReplyDeleteWow...... you definitely have some kinda talent here. I admire your work and congratulate you. I have a country music song I wrote about a break up (actually 2) but don't know where to go from here.
ReplyDeleteThat is an amazing poem Barry!
ReplyDeleteKenzie- following you in turn. You know how amazed I am by your writing.
ReplyDeleteSara light- thank you, I appreciate this. Are you thinking of going commercial with your songs? I tried to reply to you but there's no link, hoping I can speak with you at some point.
Lady M- thanks! :)
This is beautiful, Barry. It gave me goosebumps. Your poems never cease to amaze me. Love you. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks Jen, you're awesome! xx
ReplyDeleteI love this poem, Barry. It is breathtakingly beautiful, as close to perfection as one can come. I especially loved "taste your liquid promises, unspoken and unsung", isn't it amazing how we don't need words to have completely intimate conversations with another. xo
ReplyDeleteIt's very beautifully written, Barry. I'm enjoying your writings on here. Keep it up. :)
ReplyDeleteSophie- thanks, if anyone knows passion it's you.
ReplyDeleteSophia- you always make me smile with your encouragement, thank you.
Love this poem Barry. Especially the first two lines: "The shelter of my raincoat, The comfort of your hand," So many of a times have I felt this way :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jen! I always love it when someone finds familiarity in my writing.
ReplyDelete