Sunday, March 13, 2011

Blog Stalkers

I'm skipping Secret Sunday today to talk about something a friend of mine is going through. If you'd still like to submit a secret or fantasy (I can't get enough of them), please visit my Secret Garden blog here.

For months now a blogging friend of mine has been harassed by someone anonymously.  Call it stalking, call it cyber-bullying, whatever name it's given it has caused her a tremendous amount of distress. She can't think of who it might be, she doesn't recall making enemies or doing anything to make someone act this way.  Truth is she's one of the sweetest, most gentle souls I've met since I began blogging and she doesn't deserve this. No one does.

This person has caused her to cut back on posting to the point that she's basically stopped blogging.  Our communication has also been affected because she's been rather withdrawn.  It's killing me to see this happen to her, and our friendship.

Have you ever gone through this?  If you did were you able to resolve it?  Any advice you can give would be extremely appreciated.  Thanks so much.


  1. My first comment didn't make it through... argh!

    Does he know who she is personally? Is the harassment via email or comment? Is her blog private? Does she reply to his messages? It sucks for sure though.

  2. I hope she gets the chance to see this. It shows only a little of how much you care. Which is far more important than that incessancy of some hurtful doer. Know that your kind words or actions can leave that lasting impression craved. Unfortunately she isn't alone. "Viral bullying" has become something of a norm to many. Pathetic and sick. The old 'ignore it' won't work, it takes strength. You'll give her that from your friendship.

    Sincerely wish her well and you take care too, Barry

    Things can change X

  3. Aww that is annoying... I wonder why people are so hateful sometimes.

  4. This is frightening. I hope she doesn't have her city listed in her profile or talk about it on her blog. If she does, she might want to contact the police if it gets any worse. I would hate to see this harrassment go beyond the cyber walls. :(

    Also, does she have stat counter for her blog? Perhaps she can see where this person is situated. I actually use statcounter and a year or so ago discovered that a man living four hours away from me was posting my photos and links to my blog on his porn blog. I contacted blogger and they resolved the situation. Without statcounter, I would have had NO IDEA he was doing it.

    I don't have any other advice for your poor friend. I feel so terrible for her. What an awful situation to be in! A blog should be a place of refuge for one's soul, not a place to be scared. :( I really hope she gets this resolved. Keep us updated! xoxo

  5. I'd suggest that she make her blog open to invited readers only (it's how our older kids' blogs are set up).

  6. I have gone through this and still occasionally do by the same person and the fakes names that person makes up. Fortunately or unfortunately I know who the person is and I just stopped reading their blog, stopped commenting on that person, and I had to make my blog where I could moderate comments. This way most people give up if they cannot see their "Ha ha, so funny," comments in writing. Sorry for your friend. It's so juvenile...and spineless. Love those key-board tough guys.

  7. I want to thank all of you for taking time to comment, this means the world to me. He doesn't seem to know her personally, has been harassing her through both comments and e-mail. Her blog isn't private, she doesn't respond to him as she wants neither to encourage nor aggravate him. She's weighing options on where to proceed from here.

    She contacted me a short time ago and has read this. She appreciates it very much. :)

  8. That's sad, I'm not sure what I'd do in that situation. I'd want to still have my blog, but maybe I'd make it private.
    I never write my hometown for privacy reasons. Once it's on the internet, anyone can find it.

  9. i hate to hear these things happen but i know it does. i have often seen comments on other peoples blogs from anon and wondered why in hell people bother to do such things. they are simply cowards that don't have the balls to give their real names. i am sorry for your friend but i have really no advice.

  10. I've gone through bullying and harassment on many different levels... working in media as I do, it's a very common thing in this profession... When I first started work I used to cry myself to sleep.. every negative thing stuck with me.. every sharp word that ever came from one of our fans affected me... it put me in a bad place for a good 2 years... then one day I realised that's just part of life.

    In life there is going to be a ton of people that you come accross that don't agree with you.. weather it's they don't agree with what you've said, they have a valid counter argument to something you've said/ done, or maybe for some reason they've just decided that they don't like you.. It's always going to happen, there will always be someone you don't see eye to eye with and that's just life. There's 2 things you can do with the situation... you can let it be water for your fire or you can let it be fuel for your fire.. There are messed up and angry and hurting people in the world who only know how to channel their feelings through negativity.. chances are they get some sort of sick pleasure out of it but that's only if you let them... Once you accept that this is a part of life, and you accept who you are and love yourself for it, these things won't bother you anymore.

    The power to change the situation lies in her hands not the jerk who's saying those things.. by taking it to heart she is letting him win.