Monday, March 28, 2011

Confessions of a Girl Talk Junkie

I think I was away the day they gave out the typical guy gene. I'm not big into sports; I'll watch it once in a while but I couldn't tell you anything about stats, standings or players. Probably because I don't really care. I hardly drink, anything past two beers on a summer day would be considered a lot for me. I don't play poker, in fact cards bores the hell out of me. I have been known to get together with the boys and hit a strip club or two and partake in an evening of wholesome cultural entertainment.

This past Saturday I spent the day with some of the guys at a model train show (it really was a model train show, honest).  Sandy was having a girls' night in, and I arrived home that night just in time for Earth hour. I spent it in a candle-lit room sharing a conversation with five women, watching them indulge in alcohol and phallic-shaped food. When the hour was over I retreated to my studio to give them their time together.

Most guys I've talked to show no interest in doing anything like this, they'd rather go out with their buddies. Maybe I had the best of both worlds on Saturday, but the thing is I get a lot out of these moments.

So many people just seem to accept that men and women will never understand each other. Many women dismiss men and say we only want one thing. Maybe it's true that we think of it a lot (okay, constantly) but we're a little more complex than that. Really. And I've heard so many men say we'll never understand women. But how will we if we don't make the effort?

We have to try. Last year I began studying female psychology and sexuality. I've learned again as much about this (maybe more) from conversations I've had with some of you, as well as relationships while we talk about what you experience or what you're looking for. I get asked a lot if I ever get tired of listening to people talk about what's going on in their lives.  The truth is I eat this stuff up, in fact I seek it out. I'll never claim to know everything about women, I still have a lot to learn. But I know a lot more than I did a year ago, because I've made an effort to understand life from a woman's perspective. I'm proud to be a man but I think this is important. Taking time to listen will remove a lot of the mystery in the difference between the sexes, while leaving enough to keep things interesting. This is something I plan to do for the rest of my life.

Keep those e-mails coming. :)


  1. First, I really wish I could have gone to Sandy's girls night in. What an awesome idea! And how fun! :)

    Second, you are the closest thing to a perfect husband I can possibly envision. I cannot fathom any other man not only willingly participating in Sandy's night, but honestly enjoying it! The fact you care enough to even TRY to see how women work, or see the world through our eyes, is extraordinary. I know I've said this before, but Sandy is lucky woman! But obviously that luck works both ways because she's pretty much the coolest woman in the world. ;) xoxo!

  2. Excellent post! I always like to know what people are thinking and feeling as I find I absorb all of that to try and sort out the human race as a whole in my own little brain. LOL!

  3. I wish there were more men like you!

  4. Thanks all of you, you're very kind. I can't think of anything that interests me more than relationships and the difference between the sexes. Sometimes if we take a closer look we have more in common than we think.

  5. funny, i was at a girls night on saturday evening as well. musta been the time of year. which one is the lucky lady?

    i love that you put so much effort into this. it's a great thing :)

  6. Sandy's on the front right, in the black and white. Those lollipops got a lot of lovin'! ;)

  7. thanks! yes, they sure look happy :)

  8. Firstly ... Jen ... you know I absolutely love you!
    We had a great night ... more subdued than I originally anticipated since I wasn't feeling great ... but we chatted until 1:30 a.m. Celebrated one of the girl's birthdays, ate too much, didn't drink near enough ... but fun was had by all...
    That Girl ... Yeah, I'm a pretty lucky lady. I can't imagine anyone better suited to me. Even after almost 19 years together ... wow ... it's been a long time ... but I'm more in love with this man now than I was then.