Secret Sunday

Hey everyone time now for the forty-sixth round of Secret Sunday, a chance to share secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty. All are valid.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free.

As always if there's anything you want to share, I'm listening...

I Think I'm Afraid of Becoming Who I Am

                                                                 here

 I had the most amazing dream last night. I know it was sparked by a conversation Sandy and I had about her blog post before we went to bed, and how we both feel we're meant to do more with our lives. We want to do more.

  As much as we have in common, Sandy and I are also different in many ways. She's more of an outdoors person, I'm just as happy being in my studio writing. She loves walks, I prefer a vigorous treadmill workout. She has an intense interest in physical well-being, I'm interested in mental health. But lately it seems we're at the same point in our lives, we both want to do something to help people. We find great reward in it. Sandy's considering a career change to become a lifestyle coach and I want to follow what has become my passion: psychology. Which brings me back to my dream last night.

  It was my first day as a psychologist. I was in my office, it was spacious with lots of windows and I was sitting at my desk which was massive. Twice as big as anything I'm used to. I was starting a session with my first patient ever, a young man in his late teens/ early twenties. Good-looking guy, dark (almost black) hair. I felt a bit unorganized and unsure of what to do, the session was an hour-and-a-half and I remember thinking I should set the timer so we don't go over. He was laying on a couch in front of me (I know, cliche' right?) and began talking about his mother I think, or someone in his family. Although I had never held a therapy session with someone I was very comfortable in the situation. Somewhere in there was my mentor, I can't recall what he looked like except that he had a coffee complexion like someone from the Islands.

  My office was at or near the top of an extremely high building. At one point I felt the floor sway slightly, then I had an overwhelming feeling. I dropped to the floor, it felt like it was tilting on a sharp angle and I called out that we were going to fall. My mentor said, "No we're not." And we didn't, the building hadn't moved at all.

  What do I think it means? Overall it's pretty obvious to me that it speaks to my dream of becoming a therapist. Does the fact that I'm near the top of the building very high off the ground, or that I speak from behind a massive desk represent a subconsciously over-inflated ego or feeling of importance? I hope not. I found it really interesting that my first patient in the dream was a young man, since it's almost exclusively girls and women who speak with me about things they're going through. (Notice I didn't use the word 'issues', I don't really like it). He was talking about relationships with one or more of his family members, could he have represented me? Was I as a therapist speaking with myself as a patient as a way of saying I need to work through some things? I'm not sure.

  Feeling that the building is going to topple I think represents a fear that I might fall, in other words that I might not be as effective in helping people as I want to be. I do think about that. It's one thing to spend time privately with someone reading through a massive e-mail they've written (which I LOVE to do), giving my thoughts or just listening quietly if they just want someone to talk to. But it's another thing to be in a professional role where I'm expected to make a difference. I don't know, maybe they're not that far removed afterall.

  In any case I don't feel that I could ever stop doing what I'm doing. I want to step out of my comfort zone and do more, I think maybe I'm just afraid of becoming who I am. That doesn't mean I'll let fear or uncertainty stop me though.

Featured Blog- And In The Morning There Were Birds

  I've visited hundreds of blogs since I began my own two and a half years ago. During this time I've stumbled upon a small handful of sites run by people who, for different reasons and in different ways, have had an immediate affect on me. And  In The Morning There Were Birds is one of them. The owner of this blog is Teresa Queirós (Teresa Q), a twenty-four year old photographer and actress from Aveiro, Portugal. Self-taught, she discovered an interest in photography in 2004 but only recently started taking it seriously. Most of her work is shot on film and has a very warm, almost ethereal quality which I just love.   

   Why have I connected so strongly with her work? I think the answer can be found in something she wrote a while ago,

"I find the human nature very interesting, so I love portraits- I love to see honesty and vulnerability in them. And that’s what I usually go for. Other than that I just enjoy creating beautiful images- I’m an aesthetic person I guess."

  I've always been fascinated by the many sides of Woman; her mystery, her strength, weaknesses and emotions. This is conveyed through Teresa's photography but she also reveals some of herself as well, she speaks more through her art than through words. Most subjects are friends (actresses or otherwise); she rarely uses models and I think the results are more organic and natural.

  I hope you enjoy her photographs and words (in gray) as much as I've enjoyed the chance to bring them to you...
 
"I do feel that there's always an underlying message or story behind everything you do, even if it's not concious. Everyone is a series of ideas and experiences and emotions, so everything you do artistically has a way of translating who you are, somehow, and that's a message in itself."

"For me light has the ability to bring things to life in a magical way - or an ominous way, or a beautiful way, or a mystical way (it all depends on the light you're working with) - and, most of times, light is what makes the picture."

"I'm inspired by a million things; I'm inspired by movies and music. I'm inspired by light and beauty and people - and by the bones that give them structure. I'm inspired by emotions and words. I'm inspired by dancing and movement. Art in general inspires me just as much as life."

"I like feminine portraits, I like the feminine nature, the emotion and sensitivity."

"I do take self portraits from time to time...as a way of expressing myself emotionally."

"...at some point I'm always hiding behind my hair or my hands or... whatever! It's like I have to force myself not to hide."

 

"I like stories, and dreams, and lullabies, and melancholy, and softness, and light, and mystery..."

her brother Eduardo

A few of her photos left me unsure of how to feel. I love the way images can evoke emotion...

"I don't think I have a favorite scenery, sometimes light makes the scenery all by itself. I like to shoot outdoors, though, surrounded by nature."

 "I've started doing theatre when I was about 15, I think, doing some workshops and little events here and there..It's one of my biggest passions, along with photography and singing. I like to play complex characters who are somehow damaged by life experiences. I like characters with secrets, characters who aren't easy to read, the ones who say the most without saying a word. I like intriguing characters - just as much as I like intriguing people."

  Teresa, I've been wanting to feature your photography for some time and I'm grateful for the chance to show it here. Thanks for taking the time to collaborate with me.




  If you're interested in learning more or seeing more of this work, here are her links:


And In The Morning There Were Birds  (blog)
Facebook
Flickr
Female photography inspiration ("The DPhoto" article)
Interview (nineteen questions)


All work remains property of the owner, Teresa Queirós.  © All rights reserved.

Secret Sunday

 As much as I don't like Fall I have to admit we're having a beautiful Canadian Fall day. I suspect I'll find myself outside later, there are leaves to be raked and I have to scrub out our fountain to prepare for winter. :(

  Time now for the forty-fifth round of Secret Sunday, a chance to share secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty. All are valid.


Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free.

As always if there's anything you want to share, I'm listening...

Ever Take A Personality Quiz?

 I came across this ColorQuiz through my good blogging friend Heather. I don't usually put a lot of weight in these tests but I do like to approach them with an open mind, so I thought what the hell.   

  According to the site, "ColorQuiz is a free five minute personality test based on decades of research by color psychologists around the world. There are no complicated questions to answer, you simply choose colors with a click of the mouse! Your test results are completely confidential and we do not keep the results.

This test is based on the work of Dr. Max Lûscher and is used worldwide, most notably in Europe, by psychologists, doctors, government agencies, and universities to screen their candidates. Since the 1950's the test has been given to hundreds of thousands of people."

 I began the test by selecting my sex (male, last time I checked). Then I chose from a pattern of eight different colours, picking the one that made me feel best when I looked at it first, then repeating the process for the remaining colors until none of them were left. I've copied the results of my test below, with my comments beside each one. I've rated how much I agree with each statement from 1-10 (10 being strongly agree). It's not part of the test, just doing it on my own. Here goes...

Color Test - Results


Your Existing Situation

"Very emotional and artistic, enjoys being surrounded by beauty and art. Looking for a partner who always has an eye for beauty and who enjoys close, loving relationships."
9/10  Sandy has an appreciation of aesthetics but it's not mandatory to me that she does all the time. As for a close loving relationship? That's a 10/10.


Your Stress Sources

"Demands to be noticed by others as an important individual
3/10 with a caveat. I'm not hung up on status, so being seen as important in a social standing doesn't interest me. Being considered an important part of someone's life, as someone who's made a difference? 10/10

needs attention and recognition.
3/10 professionally for both. Personal attention: 8.5/10 (especially from women if I'm honest), personal recognition: 3/10 (it's nice to be noticed but I don't do what I do for other people to be praised)

His current situation is leaving him dissatisfied. He feels he needs to make friends with those who hold the same high standards he does. Wants to stand out as someone at the top of his class and be admired by others. He needs to feel in control which makes it difficult to give of himself to another person. He feels isolated and alone but refuses to appear weak and continues to be emotionally distant from others in order to keep his attitude of superiority. "
1.5/10. Isolated and alone? Do I seem emotionally distant to you? The 1.5 is mainly for the part about wanting to be admired, I don't crave it but it's nice to hear.


Your Restrained Characteristics

Open and emotionally involved in relationships and easily finds satisfaction through sexual activity.
10/10


Feels he is carrying more than his share of problems.
1/10  Not when I look around me. I actually feel quite blessed.

He is flexible and laid back, sticking to his goals and working to overcome any difficulty."
7/10  Could be a 10/10 but I'm not always laid back and I sometimes procrastinate or get off track.


He is being forced to put happiness and pleasure on hold due to his limiting circumstances.
0/10  I don't think anyone can be forced to put off being happy, we all decide what approach we take and how much things will affect us.


Believes his hopes and dreams are realistic and sticks to them stubbornly...
9/10

even though circumstances are forcing him to compromise.
1/10  I can choose to be where I am but I'm not really forced. There are very few things that would hold me back from achieving what I want except myself.

Very precise in the qualities he seeks in a partner.
9/10 Precise yes, but I'm also flexible. No partner is perfect.




Your Desired Objective


Longs for a loving, caring, and supportive relationship
10/10 I have this now and it's very important to me.

fantasizes of living in perfect harmony with others.
5/10 "Fantasizes"? No. I'd love to live a life filled with perfect relationships but I also accept it'll never happen. I'd change very few of my relationships and that's all I could ask for.

Has a strong desire for tenderness and affection and enjoys things which are artistically pleasing to the eye."
10/10


 Your Actual Problem


Fears others will try to hold him back from achieving his goals and the things he wants.
2/10 In one particular area yes, but overall it's not something I've given much thought to. If you're determined to achieve your goals you won't let anyone stop you.

Puts on the charm and can be manipulative towards others hoping he can get them to do as he wishes and making it easier for him to reach his own goals.
3/10 with a caveat. "Manipulative" is a pretty strong word. I'm told I can turn on the charm sometimes but it's usually for no other reason than to elicit a smile. Really the only time I try to "get people to do as I wish" is in conversation, steering the conversation and setting the stage for someone to talk about something I'm curious to know more about. It's not forcing it out of someone, but hopefully leading them to the point where they'll feel more comfortable opening up a little more.


Your Actual Problem #2


Impressed by unique and one of a kind things, and by people with exceptional personalities.
10/10

Tries to takes the characteristics he likes in other people and apply it to himself as well as coming across as a unique individual.
7/10 Mostly true. Sometimes I'll meet someone in person or on-line and realize that they have certain qualities I either lack or would like to improve on. I'll make a conscious effort to change, not to be like them but to improve myself. I don't feel a need to be unique, I just want to be me.    

Identity Crisis

  

 Lately I feel like my blog has been going through an identity crisis. I suppose what's really happening is I'm just questioning myself more about the reasons I'm writing, who I'm writing for and the direction in which I'd like to take this. Over time I've found the blogs I relate to most are the ones that are very personal, written by people who talk about their day to day lives, struggles, feelings etc. I have no problem talking about my own, I do it all the time with some of you through our e-mail conversations. Yet when I feel like sitting down and writing a post about something I often draw a blank. Strange.

   The intent of this site first and foremost has always been to offer something that will hopefully be of benefit to some people. That aim will never change. Simply put, Life In Quotations is about life and how I experience it. Some things I write about are very obviously me and others might seem unrelated, but they all represent who I am in some way. A post about a girl battling anorexia may have little to do with how I've lived but it's a subject that affects me deeply and so I put it out there. Not only because issues like this are important and need to be discussed but because it represents the side of me that needs to care, and does. Everything I bring to you says something about me, sometimes you just need to dig a little deeper to make the connection.

   In an upcoming post I'll be featuring a photographer whose work has captivated me over the past year. Her photos say nothing directly of my life but embody so much of what I find beautiful and inspiring. I hope you'll drop by, and as usual if you have any suggestions for what you'd like to see here feel free to let me know.

Secret Sunday

We had a great Thanksgiving dinner with some friends last night, a week after our actual Thanksgiving in Canada but it was a nice evening all the same. And we all got massages from their daughter who has just become a licenced RMT so it couldn't have been much better. I love getting a massage!

Time now for the forty-forth round of Secret Sunday, a chance to share secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty. All are valid.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free.

As always if there's anything you want to share, I'm listening...

Thin Threads

Every once in a while when Facebook or Blogger go down, or there's an issue with Blackberry, or my computer dies (rarely thank God) I realize how amazingly simple it would be to lose my on-line friendships with all of you.

I guess it's something I've come to take forgranted, but when it's that easy to get in touch with someone by the click of a mouse it's also that easy to lose them.  It's actually kind of scary that relationships that have grown so close over the years hang on a 1/4" computer cable.


Photo credit here .

Non-Thanksgiving Weekend Recap

Thanksgiving weekend has almost come to an end. This year Sandy and I will be celebrating a week later since we've been invited to dinner next weekend. So we took the past three days to get some things done around the house.

Friday night after work we went to Home Depot and picked up eight pieces of door trim and a shelf which I had cut down at the store, to be used as a new top for a hutch.

Saturday morning Sandy made my usual chocolate chip pancakes and bacon, we went for a walk then headed out to run some errands. But first we stopped by our local bistro for latte (it's become our favourite place even though this was only our second visit). I sensed the girl behind the counter was upset about something, turns out she had family trouble so we talked about that for a while. I find this happening more often, I don't know if I'm just meeting people who are more obvious with their emotions or if I've become more attuned to reading body language and facial cues.  Anyway the latte was great, although I still haven't found anyone who makes it like Sandy does.

We ran out to a few places, came home and I installed the last bracket on the new downstairs railing.

(That's Belle on the top step). I'll be giving the handrail a dark espresso colour, it's oak so it'll take the stain well.

Then I replaced the top of the hutch (it's a long story but basically Belle has been hanging out on it and over time it got ruined. She's not up there much at all now). The hutch used to be part of a desk, if you're familiar with Ikea furniture you'll know how it goes together with pegs and metal pins etc. I measured off locations for the lighting and the door and drilled new holes, then used my nail gun to install the new top. A bit of paint to touch up the raw edges and it looks mint:

Oh yeah, when we took the unit off the wall the world's biggest clump of fur fell to the floor. No lie, it was the size of a football. I should have taken a picture.

The rest of the weekend was a blur. Sandy worked in the garden while I did the indoor renos. I tore out the old door and frame in the laundry room which looked like this one (it was mint green):

and with her help installed the new one. If you've ever tried replacing a door, even with a prehung one, you'll know how fussy a job it is checking for level and shimming it etc. Today I also cut and installed three new door frames. Here's how it looks now:

It's only primed, it'll look a lot better once I've filled the holes in the frame and everything's painted white. Nice and fresh. In amongst all the sawdust and power tools I answered some e-mails, we went for walks, read etc.

So, how was your weekend?

Secret Sunday

Well it's Thanksgiving weekend in Canada and how am I spending it? More renovations around the house. Our "real" Thanksgiving will be next weekend, one of my staff has invited us to dinner. I'm looking forward to it.

Time now for the forty-third round of Secret Sunday, a chance to share secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty. All are valid.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free.

As always if there's anything you want to share, I'm listening...

60,000 and Counting

I noticed that number of hits on my counter when I stopped by to check my blog tonight.  I haven't posted a lot lately but have more ideas I'm working on, suggestions of what you'd like to see here are always welcomed. Thanks everyone for reading me!

Secret Sunday

Hey everyone it's time for the forty-second round of Secret Sunday, a chance to share secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty. All are valid.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free.

As always if there's anything you want to share, I'm listening...