Two Worlds Collide (aka How I Succumbed to the 'M' Word)

www.publicdomainpictures.net (cutesy enough for ya?)

A few days ago I posted a request for suggestions on what to write about, as I felt I had hit a little bit of a dry spell. Melanie suggested I write about an interesting time in my life, so I thought I’d relay the story of how I met my wife Sandy. Looking back on it now some of it was actually pretty amusing.

When I was in my teens and twenties I used to hit the clubs with a very good friend of mine, whom I’ve known since high school. During this time I dated on and off, and although I ultimately wanted a serious relationship it didn’t seem to be in the cards. So my relationships were pretty casual and I resigned myself to the fact that I’d just have to be patient.

Time marched on and I turned twenty-seven. He and I were heading out to a club one night when he stopped to check his phone messages. Phone messages? Turns out he had joined a telephone dating service called Telepersonals. I listened to his messages and though, “Hmm, girls call you? How cool is that?” So I signed up.

Sandy was the first to answer my voice ad. We talked a few times, I dated other girls/women in the meantime. When we finally did get together, our first date was over lunch. I was working afternoon shifts at Bell Canada so I met her at her office. I’ll never forget, I was sitting in the lobby when a woman in a red power suit, blood-red lipstick and jet-black hair comes marching out. And I mean marching, like someone was about to get strangled. I remember thinking, “Oh please don’t let that be her. Please don’t let that be her.”

But it was her. “Oh God,” I thought. “kill me now”. Sandy wasn’t at a good time in her life. She was more than a little stand-offish around guys, and it showed. Her look said, “Okay I’m here, now impress me.” Lunch was awkward, the conversation strained. Months went by and I didn’t hear from her again; I just chalked it up as not meant to be.

Then one day I get a message on my phone, and out of the blue it’s her. She had misplaced my number (wrote it on a textbook which she had packed away when she moved). Our next date was awesome, and afterwards we went back to her place to talk (she lived with her parents at the time). I know what you’re thinking, but we did talk and that’s ALL we did. Honest. Would I lie to you?

So here we are face-to-face on the couch, Sandy with her back to the clock. Light starts to break through the window. “What time is it?” she asks. “6:30,” I reply nonchalantly . She’s mortified. “Oh God you have to go, my mom’s gonna kill us. She’ll rip your nuts off if she catches you here!” (Okay she didn’t really say that, I just threw it in for dramatic effect.)

But wait. Do I hear the floor creaking upstairs? Is someone awake?

To be continued tomorrow…