Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Coping

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It just hit me that after having read the challenges that some of you are facing, I don't think I've written about what Sandy and I went through over the past year or so.

2008, how shall I put it, kinda sucked in some ways. From January towards the end of the year we were met with one challenge after another, and it seemed unrelenting. Here's how things played out:

-starting early January Sandy was in hospital for a broken finger (caught in a slamming car door), a fractured ankle and a chest infection. This all happened within a month.

-in April I had a serious car accident (I lost the Celica and was in physiotherapy for months). Over the course of the year I would experience a form of post-traumatic stress, the effects of which I think I'm still feeling.

-we had some financial struggles

-the bathroom in the basement flooded. Twice.

-in July my dad had a heart attack and subsequent quadruple by-pass. On the same day of his surgery Sandy got a call from the nursing home saying her mother was gravely ill. Within a week or so she passed away

-a friend in my club died in the Fall

-in May of this year they discovered two lumps in Sandy's breast. Thankfully they turned out to be benign.

-over recent months there was a threat of job loss due to downsizing

I realized that the only way to make it through all this was to keep our attitudes in check. I described it earlier as one thing after another. This could have been seen as a bad thing, but I chose to look at it as positive. Because these events were spread out somewhat it gave us time to deal with them as they came up. Collectively they would have been overwhelming, but we still would have faced them head-on because we had to.

Bad things will always happen, so will good things. Which of these you choose to focus on will largely determine how happy you are. It's your choice.

The picture at the top is for all of you who are facing tough times. Keep that fire, that fight burning inside you and don't give in. Ever.

6 comments:

  1. Focusing on hope is the best thing a person can do. What a horrid year, but I'm glad you and Sandy remained strong. Doesn't it seem like all the bad things happen one after another? Kind of like a domino effect. Well, I hope the next year brings good things happening to you both, one after another! :)

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  2. Oh I hear ya. It seems sometimes every aspect of your life is sometimes affected and it just rolls into another thing. I'm sry to hear about your accident and my thoughts go to your wife & your family

    I'll keep the fire burning. =) thank you for the reminder.

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  3. It was interesting. Along with the rest of the hellishness, I had a manager who was, shall we say, difficult. Miserable bitch would be another way. Anyway, she left mid-May then Mom died in August. And then all of a sudden all the crap that was happening stopped. Mom had been in a nursing home and deteriorating for 4 years. It was a relief when she was finally at peace. I loved my mom very dearly and hated to see her suffering so much. But things have been so much better.

    Oddly enough, it was after she died that I finally decided it was time to take care of myself. So I started to work out. And while it isn't easy, it's so worth it. Attitude is everything (or at least a huge thing) and boy has it improved. I really didn't like who I was becoming.

    And I'm really grateful that Barry has put up with me for so many years. He's the best!

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  4. Hi Barry, I can't comment on the events but to say that there are a number of very rough things occurring and its very sad to read of such a list and I hope that times are improving.

    But the comment that I pick up on and like very much is the last paragraph. It rings very true - its unfortunate the bad things happen but having the strength in yourself to keep the fire burning is so important.

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  5. Thanks for your compliments!! heehee.. It's sooo nice of you!!!

    my photographer has to remain a secret for now! he/she says thank you!:)

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  6. Thanks everyone for your comments!

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