Secret Friday

Welcome to the twentieth installment of this series, a chance to anonymously share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

If you get something from this I hope you'll consider hosting one on your blog as well. Feel free to copy and paste the guidelines below if you choose. All I ask is that you keep a regular eye on your feedback; contributions can be intense sometimes and people writing in need to be respected.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wishes to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post a secret or fantasy anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can post as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) Feedback directed towards me is welcome, anonymously or otherwise.

6) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

And now to it...

Life

                                                    
"Life is not about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself."
-George Bernard Shaw



Photo credit here.

20 Random Things About Me

• If I don't do something creative every day I feel unsettled
• I've never drunk a cup of coffee in my life (don't like the taste), yet I have a shot of espresso every morning
• I love romantic poetry but I'm also fascinated by people's darker side
• If I could eat only one type of food it would be pasta
• I'd rather do an hour on the treadmill than walk twenty minutes
• I'm 5'11"
• I relate better to people in their twenties than in my own age group
• One of the happiest times in my life was walking the streets of Paris at night with new friends I had made
• I want to have a threesome
• I once rode a rollercoaster in my bathrobe and pyjamas
• I want to write a book. Not sure what it will be about
• I think sunrises are one of the most amazing gifts God has given us, and more people need to take time to enjoy them
• Years ago I shared a stage with Russell Peters during several open-mike nights at a comedy club in Toronto
• Recently I've taken an interest in sexual psychology. I think part of the allure is it's a subject that most people aren't willing to discuss
• My favourite colour is pink (on women, not me)
• Thunderstorms stir something within me. I'm not sure what it is, but the sound of water has a powerful effect
• I've never found Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton or Angelina Jolie particularly attractive
• I can't stand the taste of cooked cauliflower even if it's covered in butter and cheese, but I'll eat it raw with nothing on it
• I've had three bad experiences with horses but I'd ride one again tomorrow
• I've only truly, deeply loved twice

          Photo credit here.

Beauty Through My Eyes (For All You Women)

This video stirred something within me that I didn't realize I've been feeling for some time.

What I read on your blogs and conversations I have with you guys often drives what I choose to write about. It's the raw honesty of revealing your deepest insecurities that stays with me the longest after I've left your pages. Because of what I've been reading lately I want to talk about self-image, specifically body image.

Some of you whom I read regularly have been fighting weight issues. I've seen the effects it can have, as my wife Sandy has faced this for years (she's okay with me mentioning this). The cycle is usually inversely proportionate; as weight increases self-confidence decreases. The media doesn't help either. By continually bombarding society with images of the 'ideal' body type, advertisers would have us believe a woman is somehow less feminine, less attractive and therefore less desirable in the eyes of others if she's overweight. Yes some men do feel this way, but the media doesn't speak for all of us. Am I attracted to women with the typical 'supermodel' figure? Sure. But beauty goes far beyond that and it's not talked about nearly enough.

There's a fine line between actively trying to improve the appearance of your body vs. accepting how you look; I think the answer lies in wanting to make the change but still feeling good about yourself in the process. It starts with your mind and the way you see yourself; if you don't project your own beauty on the inside, you can't expect others to see it on the outside. A woman who believes in herself and shows that to others is undeniably fierce; there's nothing sexier than a woman who loves who she is, not narcissistically but confidently.

I appreciate that women want to look better and feel better about themselves but I'm sometimes disturbed by the lengths that some will go to just to achieve it. This is what the video sparked in me. It bothers me that eating disorders are common in our society, and becoming increasingly more prevalent amongst adolescent girls. I'm bothered by the number of women who feel the need to seek cosmetic surgery and Botox injections, and by the amount of surgeons who are willing to perform these procedures knowing damn well they're not necessary. I'm bothered by the number of 50+ women I've seen who I think are hella sexy and don't realize it.

I've read references about your weight from some of you in your posts.  It's a bit disheartening, because I think often you're not
hearing other viewpoints and therefore not getting the full picture. There are often times I want to reply with how I feel, but I'm not usually comfortable saying these things as they can be easily misconstrued. (It's very difficult for a man to honestly compliment a woman these days). But just because I don't say it doesn't mean I'm not thinking it.

Regardless of how old you are, what your background is, your height, weight or skin colour, you're beautiful.

Never forget that.

Secret Sunday

I've moved this weeks' Secret Friday to today in order to accomodate the first (of many I hope) Free For all Fridays.

Welcome to the nineteenth installment of this series, a chance to anonymously share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

If you get something from this I hope you'll consider hosting one on your blog as well. Feel free to copy and paste the guidelines below if you choose. All I ask is that you keep a regular eye on your feedback; contributions can be intense sometimes and people writing in need to be respected.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wishes to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post a secret or fantasy anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can post as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) Feedback directed towards me is welcome, anonymously or otherwise.

6) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

And now to it...

Free For All Friday

Please note that Secret Friday will be posted as Secret Sunday this weekend.


Hi everyone,


This is the first installment of Free For All Fridays.  I hope to have many more in the coming months but I can't do it without you.  This is a chance to submit anything to me that you wish you could write about on your own blog but can't for whatever reason. I'll then post it 100% anonymously.


This is the committment I make to you:

• I won't ask why you prefer not to write it on your own blog, or ask you to provide any further background (unless I honestly feel it needs clarification)
• I won't censor content or change the text, it will appear as you've submitted. If for some reason I feel a strong need to make an alteration I will always ask first.
• Length of the post doesn't matter.
• It could be about any subject, and can take the form of a true story, fantasy, poem etc.
• I understand that because this is going through me first, you may feel a need to hold back on disclosing certain information. I respect that and won't take it personally.
• Those of you who know me, know how much I honour privacy. I promise I will never reveal your name. Ever. 
• If you have something you'd like to submit please forward it to me at barrysquotations(at)gmail(dot)com

Today's post almost didn't happen, as the writer was afraid of being rejected by those who will read her words. But she pushed on anyway.  So to you, the woman halfway across the world who through this process has become my friend, thank you for your bravery in making yourself heard.  I admire your courage.


And now to it..

I am an Arabic girl, never married, just hit my 40s. There are two things I want to talk about. The first is not because what I am about to write I can not publish on my own blog, but actually because I want to open the subject for discussion in a different world, than where I live.


I was educated in a private European school, good at English, German and Arabic. Then I studied at one of the best Egyptian universities, where my studies included deeper aspects of language (linguistics), different literature episodes, language history, grammar rules and history, etc. This was the only thing I choose in my entire life, and I enjoyed it to the maximum.
I started my career by working as executive secretary in many companies, till I settled in a private reputable company as assistant to the deputy managing director. I stayed there for 11 years, then moved to Human resources department within the same company. Due to some problems and business shrinking, the management decided to close down the factory, lay off its staff and some of the department's staff as well. That was in mid-2009. I was one of them. Since then I am looking for another job within the same field.
I had a very special education, and therefore think different than 95% of Egyptian population. It’s hell I can assure you. It’s different because I was raised in a European school, having an European environment and education. It got me to have an European thinking way, rather than the Arabic one. What I kept was my Muslim ethics and way of treating people. The European thinking way gave me the opportunity to judge things based on their nature, with not much influence of people's words. While the Arabic/Islamic emotional part kept my emotions warm and passionate.


As time passes, I started doubting if I am a hopeless case, and I should give up on my right to "live" here or maybe I should try to build a life just "else where". Being different than 90% of people living around you makes you end up feeling like an outsider. Different values, different thinking way, different judging way, different feelings, different approaches. It's hell, when you feel lonely while sitting with your own family, very rare friends- I mean true, close friends. It’s hell to be single at this age in my world. It’s hell to know that everyone looks at me as "expired person" because I am not married, and none would think of even "looking" at me. I am too old. Exactly for what, I don’t know. But I started feeling rejected and to be honest- I have no hope to establish my life at home anymore. Maybe I should move to elsewhere? I don’t know.
I am thinking of leaving my home country and the whole Arabic world to live elsewhere. Europe, USA, Canada, Australia, Asia, Latin America. I don’t care. Anywhere where I can find a job and live. As explained above at this age 90% of people around me look at me as "expired person". Hopeless to start a family, find a partner and of course hopeless to have children. But as human being, don’t I have the right to choose my partner? If I haven’t met the right person till now, don’t I have the right to still hope to find him one day? As a human being should I give up on my life and start preparing myself to die?
Maybe - biologically - I can’t have children, or maybe I can. Who is here to decide? And if I can’t have children does it mean that I can not have a partner who I enjoy few years with? Can’t I have a partner to grow old with? To have some company? What is wrong with hoping anyway? What is wrong with when I meet someone I think could be a potential partner/husband but he is 5 years younger? What is wrong with approaching him and show him my feelings and check if we could have a future together? Why do I have to be cruelly rejected and reminded of my "expiry date"? Am I not a human being anymore? All I am asking for is acceptance for who I am at this age. Someone who wishes to find some happiness. This is all I am asking for. Is that too much?


I have been looking for a job since one year now. You know why I can’t get employed? Because people here think that wearing a headscarf- based on Islam's rule for women- means I am incompetent to work at a multinational company, and because hiring someone of my age is a loss. They need someone young and dynamic. Well, has anyone tested my capabilities and find me incompetent? No. I don’t even get the chance to have a pre-interview. How am I supposed to earn my living then? I am living now from my savings over the past years, when I was working. But what to happen when those savings finish?


I decided to give it a try through your blog. I need to know what "rest of the world" thinks about what I have to say. If I moved to your country - wherever that is- would I be accepted, judged or refused based on my competencies or based on my originals, religion, looks or age?
____________________


My second idea is a very simple question. Does a woman, who was raped when she was a child of few years and never had the chance to receive proper after-rape-treatment (as this branch of medicine didn't exist back then, and she too scared to tell her family about, and had to hide this incident from everyone fearing getting hurt)- does she have the right to still love, get married and have her own family? Or is she condemned to never escape this painful experience? Does a woman who is at my age still have the right to hope that one day she will find a partner to spend the rest of her life in happiness with him (who understands what she has been through and still love her for what she has developed herself to be), or is she really too old to be considered?


This is what I can not publish at my blog, because I already know the answer within the Arabic world. But do you -inhabitants of another part of the world- believe in age, barriers, etc- or a woman is still human and is entitled to "live"?

Stay Tuned...

The first installment of Free For All Fridays runs tomorrow, I think you'll find the topic interesting.  I'm looking for more submissions to keep this going, so if there's anything you can't post on your own blog e-mail me with it if you'd like to speak your mind.

Making Sense Of It All

This past Sunday was the second anniversary of my car accident. I was going to write a post on that day but forgot; this is a good sign as it makes me realize I've embraced the changes within myself since then without focusing on the cause. Still, when I look back I see it not as something that could have ended my life but as an event that marked a new beginning.

The first year following the accident (the year before I started my blog) was filled with internal confusion. I was uncertain, very emotional, restless. It's safe to say I was undergoing a form of post-traumatic stress and I think a brief period of mild depression. There was apprehension and tears, LOTS of tears out of nowhere. It was as if who I was inside was expanding beyond the confines of who I was externally. In other words it didn't feel like there was enough room inside me to accomodate the changes I was experiencing. Yet with all that growth there was also a void I couldn't fill. I couldn't fill it because I couldn't figure out what it was. Throughout all this Sandy was my rock. She gave me room to express my emotions (even when I didn't know what I was feeling), and just let me sort through it all. She was amazing and I love her dearly for it.

The second year was much more hopeful. The fact that I started my blog for the purpose of reaching out to others was to me a sign that I was taking the focus off myself. I soon realized that the void I was experiencing was filled a bit more each time I was able to do something for someone else; whether a favour, lending an ear or the occasional advice.  Any part of me that had been torn down before was being built back up with Sandy's love, and the acceptance and friendship of others. Today, two years later, I have more enthusiasm for life than ever.

So why am I telling you all of this? Because it's a perfect example of the positive impact that a traumatic situation can have on your life. At the time I saw nothing good that could possibly come from that scenario. I was in physiotherapy for months (tore the muscles between the ribs in my back), the car was a write-off, and I was an emotional mess. But I now realize it was meant to happen. Had I not made that spilt-second decision to make the turn in that intersection I wouldn't have set events in motion that led me to where I am now. I wouldn't have made so many friends worldwide, been as willing to lend an ear and in turn had a chance to better understand myself. I've probably learned more about life and people in the past year than in all my previous years combined. It's been an incredible education. Just as importantly, I love life. I'm in a good mood more often, laugh and joke around more and after all these years I still have a positive attitude. I didn't see any of this ever happening again two years ago.

If you're experiencing some adversity (and I know some of you are after talking with you), hang on. We won't always feel that we'll pull through but I truly believe there's a reason why things happen. If these reasons aren't evident right now, sometimes you just need to go on blind faith that things will get better.

They usually do.


Photo credit here.

I Love the Smell of Sawdust in the Morning

Today was my second vacation day off this week.  And what better way to spend it than work around the house?  (I mean really what else are you going to do on vacation, relax?)  Pfft!

This is the time of year I trade my pen for power tools, kick up a little mess and make some noise.  Okay, sometimes a lot of noise.  The major renovations are finished inside the house apart from some trimwork I have to do, so it was time for some construction outside.

Sandy's off this week as well, and while she was gardening I got to work building and installing a trellis against the house....

My weapon of choice, a beveled mitre saw. 12 inches,

'cause size does matter (I'm such a dog, huh?) lol

hand's not as close to the blade as it looks

we start by taking down the little gurly-man structure...

and fasten supports the the side of the house with a hammer drill..

"SAY ELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!"

Feelin' lucky punk?

done baby, done

This weekend I have three more panels to install on the back of the house and a free-standing trellis to frame, then we stain the deck in a couple weeks. Always something to do.

So what did you guys do today?

Reflecting

You were my 'first', my best.  I never knew unconditional love until you came along.  I shared all my deepest secrets, you never told anyone.  You listened when I was upset, never once interrupted and kept the same knowing smile on your face always.  We shared my bed every night and snuggled close through the best and worst days.  You kept me warm and comforted, and always loved me back. 

Every day was fun.  We knew it couldn't last, that the world wasn't made for us to be together long.  And when the day came that I had to let you go, cast you aside, I think you knew why. You came into my life for a reason and were a huge part of who I became.  And although we've long since parted, please always remember. 
You were the best teddy bear a boy could ever ask for.


I've heard some intense things this past week, so my mind's taking a break here for a while.  We all lose our innocence in life, some lost it too soon.  This is for you.

Won't Get Fooled Again

On April Fools' Day my blogging friend Jenni (check out her site, she's awesome!) wrote a post about some of the foolish things she's done.  I thought "Hell, I could write a friggin' novel with the stupid shit that's happened to me".  So here's the short-list of some of the mistakes, regrets, weird and foolish things I've experienced in my life.  I'm adding to this list daily, so don't be surprised to see a Part Two in the near future.

• got chased by a viscious weiner dog in Switzerland
• almost burned down my in-law's house. It's a long story involving a nesting bird which you can find here, along with the weiner dog story
• wasted half a day with a friend backpacking through London looking for White Hant Road.  No one could tell us where it was.  Why?  Because White Hart Road was mis-spelled on the effing map! Epic vacation fail.
• stayed on a toboggan after jumping a hill and broke my tailbone when I landed
• munched the top of a cube van I was driving while on delivery years ago
• some time ago I mentioned that I had sex on the edge of a cliff.  What I didn't tell you at the time was that our friends came out of the bushes afterwards and gave us a surprise standing ovation. Embarrassed?  Actually no.
• dug a massive hole to China in our strawberry garden when I was about five
• started chopping down the birch tree in front of our house with the back of a claw hammer when I was about seven.  I told my mom I was going to chop the tree down, guess she didn't believe me.
• Grade Two.  Shauna, my first crush.  (Damn she was cute)!  I wrote a love note and asked the kid at the desk behind me to pass it to her.  Instead he opened it and read it aloud to the whole class.  Little turd.
• when I was twenty-two I was propositioned by a stunning redhead who was a friend of the family.  This wasn't some mistaken gesture on my part, she was very upfront about wanting to sleep with me.  She was ten years older and married. I didn't go through with it, just because it was the right thing to do doesn't mean I still don't think about it and kick myself sometimes.
• around that same time I took a bus trip with a group from work to a club called Lulu's, which at the time had the longest bar in the world.  We had all sorts of booze and illicit goods on that bus, and by the time we got to the bar I was completely hammered. I kinda stumbled my way around trying my best not to look drunk (yeah right), until it came time to use the washroom.  Let me see if I can paint this picture for you.  You walk into the men's room.  On the left side of the room are the sinks, on the right side of the room, directly opposite the sinks are the urinals.  Dividing the two is a half-height wall that you can walk around, with an upright post on either end and one in the middle.  Follow me? So I did my thing (okay fine I went pee), then walked around to the sinks and washed my hands. When I turned around I saw the backs of the guys who were at the urinals and I thought it was a reflection of the backs of the guys who were at the sinks.  So here I am thinking I'm looking into a mirror and I can't see my reflection (remember at this point I'm shit-faced drunk).  My friend was with me and I started trippin'.  I mean I was freaking out.  "Aaahhhh!!!!"  He asks me what's wrong.  "I can't see myself!"  "Don't worry", he says. "You're right here."  And I calmed down immediately.       
• Italy.  Missed the last train in the middle of Godforsaken nowhere and had to hitchhike in the countryside, at night, back to town.  The only time I ever hitchhiked and I just had to pick a foreign country.
• got my butt waxed.  Yeah, now the whole world knows. Yeah, it hurt like a bitch.  And Hell no, I'm never doing it again. Ladies I don't know how you do it.  And a Brazilian?  Fuggetaboutit! (Although we men certainly appreciate the effort).
• here's the scene.  Parked late at night with my girlfriend in some remote spot on a beautiful summer's night.  The moonroof is open, stars twinkling in a cloudless sky.  Soft romantic music is playing on the radio, moonlight washing over our unclothed bodies as we breathlessly bask in the afterglow of a steamy session. It's the perfect moment.  The music drifting from the speakers is interrupted by the faintest whimper as I get 'myself' caught in my zipper.

          Damn that hurts.

Secret Friday

Happy Friday everyone! In some parts of the world a few of you have already begun your weekend so I hope it's off to a good start.

Welcome to the eighteenth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to anonymously share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

If you get something from this I hope you'll consider hosting one on your blog as well. Feel free to copy and paste the guidelines below if you choose. All I ask is that you keep a regular eye on your feedback; contributions can be intense sometimes and people writing in need to be respected. It's very important. If you decide to do this on your blog please, please let me know. If we link to each other I think we could start something great.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wishes to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post a secret or fantasy anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can post as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) Feedback directed towards me is welcome, anonymously or otherwise.

6) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

And now to it...

Attitude

"It isn't what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it's what we say to ourselves about what happens."

-Pema Chodron



Photo credit here

Weirdness

click to enlarge

(Warning: if you're looking for any sign of intelligence, look elsewhere)


I get my best and worst ideas in the shower.  Case in point: there I was a few minutes ago, washing away the sudsy remnants of a hellish day, when the thought occurred to me.  "Hmm, maybe I should start another blog.  Maybe call it Bob Blog Glob".  If for no other reason than the alliteration made me laugh my ass off.  (Hey towards the end of the day, things have a way of seeming funnier than they are.  Work with me here).  It could be a place where I jot down my quick, mindless thoughts that have nothing much to do with anything really.  Yeah, why don't I do this? 

Because it's already been done in some little thing called Twitter. (Why am I not on it?) 

Oh right, 'cause it's addictive that's why. 


Nevermind.

I Want It All Baby!

Man, this is SO me!

I'm Curious

When I discuss a situation with someone I'm almost always looking for an opinion or advice. Sometimes I'll talk to a few people to get different points of view. My weakness lies making decisions based on logic rather than emotion. The head's almost always right, but the heart is usually easier to follow.

It's widely accepted that when men talk to others about their problems they're looking for advice, whereas when women discuss their problems they're more commonly wanting to be heard than looking for a solution.

What's your opinion on this? When you talk to someone about your troubles are you looking for advice, or just an ear to listen?




Edited 8:57am April 12.
Photo credit here.

Update: Free For All Fridays

I had some great feedback for my Free For All Fridays suggestion (see my April 7th post here).  So if you're interested in reading what others wish they could say on their own blogs but can't, you may have your chance because I've decided to go ahead with it.

Many of you said you'd like to read them, but in order for this to work I need some contributions.  If you'd like to participate please e-mail me at barrysquotations[at]gmail[dot]com. All submissions will be kept 100% confidential.

Hope to hear from you guys!

Murphy's Law Strikes Again

Had a nice day off work today, got a few things done.  I brought the car to the dealership this morning to get the winter tires changed over to the summers.  Six hours later it snows for the first time in a month and a half.

What the fuck.

Awards Link

This isn't actually a post.  I've been meaning to clean up my sidebar forever and wanted to condense my blogging awards into one spot that I could link to.  So this is it.

                          Submitted by Jennifer at I Know, Right?

Submitted by Melanie at Melanie's Randomness.

Submitted by Jennifer at I Know, Right?

Submitted by Jill at Life After College, Jess at And My Reflection Troubles Me and Leviana at Love and a Coffee Shop.

Submitted by Leah.

Submitted by Melanie at Melanie's Randomness, and Jennifer at I Know, Right?

Happy Award submitted by Ari at The Happy Cactus, Sandy at Getting Fit and Loving It and Tony at Nut in a Lifeshell

Submitted by Jennifer at I Know, Right?

Summitted by Jennifer at I Know, Right? and Jamie at Life as I Know It

Submitted by Nina at Ballerina's Closet Obsession

Submitted by Jennifer at I Know, Right?

Submitted by High Heel Life

Submitted by Jade

Thanks to all of you who sent these to me, they definitely brighten my day!

Secret Friday

         what is it about biting the lower lip that's so irresistibly sexy?

Happy Friday everyone! In some parts of the world a few of you have already begun your weekend so I hope it's off to a good start.

Welcome to the seventeenth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to anonymously share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

If you get something from this I hope you'll consider hosting one on your blog as well. Feel free to copy and paste the guidelines below if you choose. All I ask is that you keep a regular eye on your feedback; contributions can be intense sometimes and people writing in need to be respected. It's very important. If you decide to do this on your blog please, please let me know. If we link to each other I think we could start something great.

Here's how it works:

1) This is open to anyone who wishes to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post a secret or fantasy anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can post as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexual content you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) I'll be participating as well. (After sixteen of these I have to dig deeper!)

6) Feedback directed towards me is welcome, anonymously or otherwise.

7) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

And now to it...

Opinions Needed For An Idea On A New Feature

Whether during conversation with some of you or through reading your blogs, if there's one commonality I've found it's the desire to have more freedom to write as we choose.  Very few of us are anonymous; we have family, friends, co-workers who read us and thus we tend to be very selective as to what we write. I know some of you who have dozens of readers, yet there's still that one person that causes you to think twice about what you say.

So, in the spirit of Secret Friday and as an extension of that idea, I propose 'Free For All Fridays'.  This would be a chance for you to submit anything you wish you could write about on your own blog but can't for whatever reason.  I would then post it 100% anonymously.

This is the committment I make to you:

-I won't ask why you prefer not to write it on your own blog, or ask you to provide any further background
-I won't censor content or change the text, it will appear as you've submitted.  If for some reason I feel a strong need to make an alteration I will always ask first.
-Length of the post doesn't matter.
-It could be about any subject, and can take the form of a true story, fantasy, poem etc.
-I understand that because this is going through me first, you'll most likely feel a need to hold back on disclosing certain information. I respect that and wouldn't take it personally.
-Those of you who know me, know how much I honour privacy.  I promise I will never reveal your name. Ever.

This will not take the place of Secret Fridays but would either run alternately or in conjunction with it depending on the amount of feedback I get.

For those of you who think this sounds like something you might want to participate in but are on the fence, visit the posts each week and see how this plays out until you're comfortable.  If this is something you think you'd like to contribute to at some point, please let me know by e-mail.  Whether or not I recognize your e-mail address I won't ask who you are.  'Free For All Fridays' is about the post, not the name behind it.

Please let me know what you think.  I'll move forward with this based on the response I receive.

I'm an Aunt!

I'll explain this in a minute.

Easter weekend.  Sandy and I headed out Friday morning to visit her sister and family in Owen Sound, a town about 120 miles Northwest of Toronto.  The drive usually takes about three hours, three and a half on weekends such as this when the cops are out.  God I hate doing the speed limit.

I took a few photos during the trip...

         Rufus,a Goldendoodle (Retreiver/Poodle mix), impossibly
         huggable. We ran and wrestled a lot.

            Scooter, a Cavashon (Bijon Frise/King Charles Cavalier
            spaniel mix).  I didn't wrestle with him as I was afraid I'd
            break him in half.  Which I didn't think would make him twice
            as cute.

He'd chew my ankles off if he knew I was posting this.  Like it's not

humiliating enough that someone removes your happy bits, they

just HAVE to stick a cone on your head.

He spent a lot of time doing this.  Hey if I had the ability to lick

myself and couldn't I'd be bummed too.

My Life As an Aunt...

Some of you have remarked that I seem to be very in touch with my feelings. This is something which isn't usually perceived as a typically male trait, but I'm okay with agreeing as I have plenty of masculine thoughts (some of which won't see the light of day here as they're deliciously out of keeping with this blog). However this little guy took that whole 'getting in touch with your feminine side' thing way too far...

Meet Declan, Sandy's niece's (Rhonda's) four-year-old son.  We were playing 'baseball' in the backyard, and every time he wanted me to throw the ball he'd say, "Yeddy auntie Bawey?"  Which was a verbal way of ripping out my testicles and throwing them out in the trash with Scooter's.  I was afraid I'd wake up in the morning with a cone on my head.

Sandy's sister Maureen and her niece Rhonda declined pictures as they weren't feeling photogenic.  Declan's twin brother Derek declined a picture because...I don't know, he's four.  Who the hell knows what's going through a four-year-old's mind?

Friday night Sandy and I stayed at The Doctor's Inn bed and breakfast, an 1876 Victorian Inn...

Owners Laurie and Steve were our gracious hosts...

Breakfast in the dining room...

consisted of homemade cinnamon buns, juices, bacon and Belgian waffles with whipped cream and fresh fruit.  My plate...

Saturday morning we all went to the local museum for an Easter egg hunt.  If you want to see the definition of awkward watch me attempt to pick up and hold onto a four-year-old boy.  About as graceful as a one-armed man trying to juggle a dozen penguins. No picture, sorry. 

But here's the Easter egg hunt, for ages four and under.  Picture a swarm of 35 pound locusts in pastels and diapers decending on a field, half with no clue of what they're looking for, and you get the idea.

Just what these kids need, more sugar and caffiene...

After the hunt we left for home.  Some photos I took along the way...

At one point we passed by a wind farm.  The wind turbine generators stretched out for miles, there seemed to be hundreds of them...

We arrived home Saturday afternoon, freshened up and went back out a couple hours later for Easter dinner at my brother Steve and his fiance Bobbi's home.  With both sides of the family there we had about nineteen people.  Overall a good time.