When I discuss a situation with someone I'm almost always looking for an opinion or advice. Sometimes I'll talk to a few people to get different points of view. My weakness lies making decisions based on logic rather than emotion. The head's almost always right, but the heart is usually easier to follow.
It's widely accepted that when men talk to others about their problems they're looking for advice, whereas when women discuss their problems they're more commonly wanting to be heard than looking for a solution.
What's your opinion on this? When you talk to someone about your troubles are you looking for advice, or just an ear to listen?
Edited 8:57am April 12.
Photo credit here.
Both, but it depends on WHO I am talking with. If it is a really good, close friend - then I am looking for them to LISTEN first, then advice, if they have any to give.
ReplyDeleteIf it is not such a close friend, then I tend to just want someone to listen. Not sure if that makes sense, and I could be way off, but that's me and how I deal with things, whether it is male or female.
Hi Barry
ReplyDeleteBoth. Sometimes when I'm down I'm looking for someone to listen to and to give advice (especially if it's about another friend). And sometimes I just need someone to listen. That is when I need to get something off my back. Just to get what bothers me out of the way.
Hope it made sense. :)
You should enjoy your day. :)
Oh and btw I like the new picture you have here on top of your page. It's beautiful. :)
I've got a horrible feeling I'm in the first camp. When I'm talking to someone about something that bothers me I'm looking for a solutions - probably because I may not be talking if I knew the solution.
ReplyDeleteI know my problem is that I keep going over and talking about the same things 'til I find a solution that fits (that I haven't tried) - possibly because of my own skewed vision of some things... I know this pisses people off and its something I need to fix. I guess its that old thing of looking for info and a different view... ;)
Hope all is good for you!
For me, it depends what the situation is, and who I'm talking to. But I think a general rule is, people should only give advice when asked for it, OR offer it first before giving it to see if the person is interested, you know?
ReplyDeleteI'm like everyone else who's commented - it depends on who I'm talking to . . .there are some people whose opinions I value and trust and others who I don't
ReplyDeleteIt depends who I'm talking if it's someone whose opinion I really value or care about, I'm seeking advice. However, I will say that there are times that I speak just for people to hear me out.
ReplyDeleteI'd say both. It depends on the situation and who I'm talking to...
ReplyDeleteBut mostly, I just want to talk to someone who can sympathize or understand. It's nice when someone can relate...
PS. Your comment on my last post made my day a little brighter. (I have been so sick lately.) xoxoxo!!
Hi!
ReplyDeleteI think that both men&women look for advice and also want to be understood when talking about our thoughts...
men like to feel heard, don't you?
Most of the times i look for both things when i talk about my feelings/problems/day... but sometimes i just don't need an answer just now... i just need to feel heard and thought.
How are you? My email is on its way!
Love,
xxx
As a counselor, listening is what I do all day long. I think that the art of listening, at least for me, is always evolving.
ReplyDeleteLike today, I had three clients in a row for 50 minutes each, literally back to back to back. The first two had my undivided attention and I feel that each of them got what they needed out of the session.
However, my third appointment showed up early and by that point in the day I was ravenous. Despite my best efforts to concentrate, all I could think of during the session was when I could pop out for lunch and what I was going to stuff in my maw to quiet my babbling stomach.....
I suppose listening might be in part based on biological and physical circumstance.
most of the times i am looking for advise.
ReplyDeleterarely i want someone to share.
maybe it's just me, i am not used to share my personal issues with anyone- not even my close friends.
but when i really need advise, i share whateve i have in mind.
i heard that sharing with others often relifes somehow, but i am just not used to it.
Both, but mostly advice. If I want someone to listen to me, it's because I don't know what to do, or I just want to confirm that my decision is logical with whatever the problem presented might be.
ReplyDeleteP.S. So sorry I haven't been on your blog lately. I'll make sure to improve on this (:
xo, Sophia