We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo it” I’m just saying......
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
That Little Triangle
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
What was your power again?
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
Dear Mr. Gump
WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells
you EXACTLY what you're gonna get....
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some
Spanish douchebags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words.
You piece of shut.
Every iPhone User
Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
At least you get picked up...
The Girls of Jersey Shore
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world
and I was here first.