Sunday, September 26, 2010

Isolating Beauty- The Many Sides of Woman

  Some of you have done posts showing shirtless beefcake shots and making comments about your favourite hotties. I always enjoy reading these entries; there's something I find exhilarating about a woman who openly shares what she finds attractive in another person, whether they're male or female. 

  I have a tremendous appreciation for women. I love the way they move, how they look and smell.  The way they talk, how they think. It's no secret, Sandy knows this and feels the same about men.  (Attraction to others doesn't somehow magically stop when you enter a relationship. We both acknowledge this and we're good with it).

  I've been told I have an idealistic, romanticized notion of who Woman is.  Of course I freely admit it, it's part of who I am. And this is who she is to me...



feminine
 


life-giver



nurturer

caregiver


intriguing


mysterious


 exotic



 
curious     



vulnerable
          


                                                     sexual



                                                intelligent   



aggressive



seductive



free-spirited



Is it any wonder why I'm so captivated seeing these different sides to all of you?





Photos from various Google image searches. "Caregiver" photo credit http://www.ckphoto.ca/services/2008-capa-digital-competition-second-place/

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Secret Friday



TGIF, finally! (I've been a day ahead of myself since Tuesday). Yeah I know I'm posting this a bit early but it's already Friday in some parts of the world. :)

Welcome to the thirty-ninth round of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

Here's how this works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

3) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free. You can copy the rules if you'd like.

And now to it...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Not Your Typical Fashion Post


Recently during a conversation my good friend Jill asked me if I'd do a fashion post.  At first I didn't give it much thought. I mean, me fashionable?  But I got thinking about my different styles over the years and thought what the heck, some of these outfits are so avante-garde I might actually start a trend some day.

So here goes...





Pretty normal so far right?





"You talkin' to me cowboy?" (I find this pic pretty unsettling but I'm putting it up anyway 'cuz it's how I roll)... 



My 'gangsta reno chic' phase.  Too many studs to count in this photo.  "Is that a tape measure in your pocket or..."



What the fashionable renovator is wearing (as he freezes his ass off)...




The latest in poultry headwear.  Limited edition, made by Dior I think.  Not shown: Louboutin chicken-foot sandals for men. (This is where things really start to unravel in case it's not obvious)...




If I went to Hawaii this is SO what I'd wear. Scary thing is I wasn't even drunk yet when this photo was taken.  If a future employer sees this I'm kinda fucked, but man what a party!

                                                                   
So there you have it.  I shudder to think of what I may have in store for you next time, but if you can't have fun with what you wear....

I don't know.  Go naked I guess.


                                                                

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Monday, September 20, 2010

15 Questions...




1. What song have you been listening to a lot lately?

I've had Flaming June (Reuben Halsey's Chillout Mix) on pretty heavy rotation. It's not massively uplifting but I love the piano. It's a great mellow version of Flaming June by BT, which I've always loved

2. What actor would you want to play you in a movie?

I'm not sure who I'd pick to represent me in years past but for present-day it would have to be Stanley Tucci.  He's brilliant and can convey tremendous emotion.  Plus he has about as much hair as I do.

3. Any tattoos?

Nope.

4. Have you ever visited another country?

I've been to a few. We've driven through the US a bit (Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Pennsylvania). I went to Ireland with my dad when I was twelve.  When I was twenty-two I backpacked through Europe with my best friend; in five weeks we went to England, Belgium, France, Monaco, Holland, Luxembourg, Germany, Austria, Italy, Vatican City and Switzerland. I'd love to go to Australia and Brazil.

5. Are you saving your money for anything right now? Big or small purchase?

I plan to get a high-quality webcam soon so I can start chatting by video with you guys, and do some video posts.

6. What one song will always cheer you up?

"Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap (Tiesto's remix)


7. What is one thing you miss the most about childhood?

The lack of responsibility and the innocence that came with thinking the world was perfect.

8. Is there a catch phrase, cliche, or word that just drives you nuts every time you hear it?

"My old lady." I just can't wrap my head around it, it's so disrespectful towards women.

9. What is your favorite thing about summertime?

Tanned exposed skin and flowing sundresses. I just love summer!

10. What is your ideal retirement location (if money didn't matter)?

Beachfront property in Australia with a crashing surf in front of me and lush forest behind. Secluded enough for privacy but close enough to a town that I can get everything from.

11. What nervous habit did you have as a child that you kicked before becoming an adult?

Sucking on two fingers.  Oh, and wetting the bed (don't tell anyone).

12. What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you while on the job?

Not really embarassing but a deer made its way into my first-floor office once and visited me at my desk. Does that count?

13. Did you make good grades in school?

I consistently pulled off high marks in English Lit, grammar and the performing arts (theatre). Just as consistently I sucked at math and science and was happy to squeak through with passing grades in economics, physics, biology and chemistry. Yeesh.

14. What is your earliest childhood memory?

I vaguely remember making it to the egg before everyone else. :)
Okay. The earliest memory I have is being on the front lawn playing with my sister who was in her crib. I would have been about...four?

15. Do you live in the same town you grew up in?

No, but close. I was born and raised in Toronto and now live about twenty-five minutes from the home I grew up in.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Guest Photo Feature No. 5

Just a reminder that I'm taking submissions for random photo features on my blog, see here for more info. I hope you'll participate!

This entry comes from Rebecca at Only A Mama Knows.  As I've come to know Becca I've been awestruck by the selflessness she's shown for her family.  Through our conversations over the past three months she's softened my views towards kids, which I didn't expect. Every child should be loved by a heart like this.

With Becca's permission I've added text to the photos she's submitted.


                              "Whidbey Island, Washington. July 27, 2005"

Was sad to leave here. Whidbey is often referred to as Puget Sound's largest artist's colony and is home to numerous working artists, writers, and performers. These include many well-known painters, sculptors, glass artists, wood workers, metal workers, mixed media artists, photographers, authors, poets, actors, and musicians.


                                    "Newquay, England. May 30, 2008"

Newquay is a town and fishing port in Cornwall, England.  It's also a resort widely considered the surfing capital of the UK (who knew?) Well-known for its nightlife with many pubs, nightclubs and bar crawls.


             "Newell Rd., Klickitat County, Washington. October 24, 2009"
 
As of 2009 the estimated population in Klickitat was 20,554.  Landmarks include the Maryhill Museum of Art and a replica of Stonehenge which was built as a monument to local men killed in WWI. Klickitat also boasts some of the best bloggers in the world.
 
         "Rock Creek Rd., Klickitat County, Washington. October 25, 2009"
 
                                 I love the colours in this shot.
 
 
 "No one else could ever know the love I have for you. For you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside..."
 
 
Anthony at 3

Code name: "Anth". Camps, likes to induce the occasional heart attack in his mother. Often seen sporting a mohawk.


Molly at 1

Code name: "Mols" but also answers to "Baby".  Growing fashion concern. Waves and blows kisses. First word: Elmo.


Rebecca, thanks for the photos! 
Who's next?

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Secret Friday


I felt like I wanted to take a break last week but we're back.  Lately this feature hasn't been drawing as many comments as I'd like, if anyone has any suggestions to encourage more participation I'm all ears.

With this we kick off the thirty-eighth round of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

Here's how this works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

3) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free. You can copy the rules if you'd like.

And now to it...

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Real-Life Blogger Meet!

                                 If you think this is good you should see the breakdancing hippos


So my prayers of one day meeting a blogging friend in real-life have finally come true. This past Sunday, Sandy and I met HHL from High Heeled Life and Mr. G. They brought a couple bottles of wine and a dozen donuts, which we munched on while sipping on Sandy’s almost world-famous latte.

We talked into the evening for almost five hours, sharing stories of circumstances that changed our lives. It was one of the most amazing, intense conversations I’ve had in some time; the story of how HHL and G. were brought together left Sandy and I speechless at times. Like, f'real. If you’ve ever doubted some things happen for a reason or that there are external forces at work shaping our lives, I encourage you to drop by her blog and read her story. It’s one of tragedy and determination, hope, love and triumph. Truly inspiring.


To HHL and Mr. G, I want to tell you both how fortunate I feel to know you. Your strength and courage amaze me, especially after talking face-to-face. I hope this is the beginning of what proves to be a long friendship.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Guest Photo Feature No. 4

Just a reminder, I'm taking submissions for random photo features on my blog. See here for more info. I hope you'll participate! Today's entry comes from Lauryn at Laureality.

Last year I wrote, "Through the photographer we see not what catches their eye, but what captures their heart." I wasn't familiar with Lauryn at the time but it seems so appropriate, I've always loved the way her photos convey emotion. Drop by and check her out sometime.

In her words:

"For as long as I can remember I've always had a love for photography. I could stare at it for hours on end and before owning my own camera would sit and imagine different ways to compose a shot. To this day I still tend to see the world through an imaginary lens, always looking for the best angle. While photography has always been something that's interested me, it's also become increasingly personal. As a daughter, a friend, a girlfriend, and the other roles I've played in my life I've always been eager and willing to give my heart away and lay it all on the line. However, when it comes to photography I've been hesitant to really put myself out there. The idea of referring to myself as a "photographer" has been scary. It's like the child that I want to protect from a world of judgement, but isolating beauty is no way to live.  




I've decided that I need to really take a look at what photography means to me and learn from that. Whether I have the honor of capturing a couple recently engaged, or one saying their vows, a family, or freshly planted flowers, everything that my camera sees is life at its best, which to me is love. The next step is having as much appreciation for the person behind the camera as I do for that which is in front of it."
 



 
Lauryn thanks so much for your photos! Who's next?

Friday, September 10, 2010

Coping With Loss

 Hey everyone.  This is a pretty heavy subject going into the weekend, but like everything I post here it's for a reason.

 Those of you who know me are aware that I'll talk about anything, there's really no subject I'm uncomfortable discussing. But when it comes to death I usually struggle for words.  I don't know what to say to someone who's grieving, there's little consolation to be found when a loved one is lost.  I came across this poem on someone's blog a while ago, it had a tremendous affect on me and has stayed with me since.

 I post this for those of you who are struggling with the loss of someone. May you find some peace in these words.

                                                               

Gone From My Sight

by Henry Van Dyke



I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone"

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

And that is dying...

Secret Friday will return


Hey guys, I've decided to take a break from Secret Friday today.  It'll be back next week. TGIF!!  :)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Veiled (revisited)



Veiled


May I be this bold
To chip away a piece of mortar
In the wall
Which surrounds you,
That I may peer in just a little
And let the light
Melt away
Some of your darkness.

Your glance betrays
Guarded secrets;
How you answer ghosts
Who call your name.
Your Self
Is your strongest weakness.

Still by your side I'll sit,
Take your hand in mine
And read of a life untold
While I wait
Patiently
For you to become
Who you are.


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Monday, September 6, 2010

What Happens at Strip Club, Stays At Strip Club (well most of it anyway)

Ever have those weekends where you've been productive and feel really good about what you've accomplished?  That you feel you've made a significant contribution to something, that God would be really proud with what you've done?  I have too, and last weekend wasn't one of them.

Last weekend was my brother's stag.



For a night like this to occur, seventeen men first needed to respond as to whether or not they were attending. Then plans had to be made on transportation and venues. Organizing all this amongst a group of guys is a lot like trying to herd cats, it took forever. I'm not sure why it played out this way. Possibly due to late notice of the outing, more likely due to the other halves ix-naying any lewdness with scantily clad young ladies. As it turned out we arranged a group of six of us including my brother.

I should mention that not only did I go with Sandy's blessing, in addition to my own money she gave me an extra $50 "just in case I needed it". How many wives would do that?  Especially knowing what she knows about these places. (More on that later).

We had two pizzas and downed a few beers at my brother's before hopping in a cab. Our first stop was probably the most well-known strip club in Toronto. I'd never been there, can't say I was overly impressed with the layout although the girls were nice.

Now, some of you reading will be disgusted with the idea of strip clubs.  I get that, I really do. In many ways they're a sign of everything that's wrong with society; the notion of women as sex objects, infidelity, materialism, excess (booze, drugs and sex whether seen or not). But in some ways a strip club is a tremendous testimony to the power that women have over men. 

I've always believed that the notion of woman as the weaker sex died when the suffragette movement gained steam in the 1920's.  Successive generations have become more empowered to the point that today's woman is dominant socially, economically and sexually. This movement has tilted the role of men in relationships, in that where many women want a man they don't need him. More women than ever are supporting themselves, creating a shift in independence which has threatened many a man's ego. But I'm getting off-topic so back to the night.

We all settled in, had more than a few drinks and lap dances. One of the dancers was particularly memorable for me, not because she was more talented or attractive than the others (she was a good-looking girl), but because of the conversation we had.  When she was at my table she rolled my wedding ring between her fingers, looked me in the eyes and told me she liked married men.  I playfully asked her why, and she answered "Because they have something to lose".

  C'mon, you didn't expect her to recite a passage from the Bible did you?

 As she danced for me we talked about the reasons men come to these places, how they seek things they can't get at home (true in some cases). She spoke of how the money was too good to give up, and how she loved the power she exuded over men. Interesting having a conversation like this with a nude girl draped upon you.  Who says men can't multi-task? 

She told me she's had couples ask her to join them. She's had married women ask her to share their bed, wanting to keep it from their husbands. This didn't surprise me, everybody's curious about something.  I shared some secrets with her, it's rather liberating with someone you know you won't see again.  (I didn't reveal anything too earth-shattering though, because you just never know). Makes you wonder how many of these back-room confessions take place and what's said.

We came there for the girls.  But the give-and-take around us and just the psychology of it all held tremendous interest for me. Leave it to me I guess to turn a visit to a strip club into a social study. 

One of the guys had an apartment not too far away so we took a subway there and had a couple drinks before hopping into a cab to a second club several miles away. This place was packed, loud and rowdy. Awesome!  Kind of like Coyote Ugly with boobs. We were able to get my brother on stage, where the dancer had some fun with him. On a dare from one of the guys I went up a bit later. (I've already tarnished my reputation with some of you so I won't say what went on).  Incidentally this is the same club that Sandy took me to a few weeks prior, which ended up being one of the most memorable nights in recent memory.

Anyway we left the club, did a 3am McDonald's drive-thru run where we were served by a girl with attitude who very obviously didn't want to be there.  Hey, would you want to be working at McDonald's at 3am on a late Saturday night shift?  When we got back we were short fries and one of the burgers may have had a bite out of it, we weren't sure.  I crashed at my brother's place at 4:30am, woke up in a strange bed to a pillow beside me falling on my arm and for a minute thought I had woken up with someone.  Try explaining that little glitch to your spouse.  

Although it should have been a night to forget considering how much I had to drink I remember it all, made it through just fine and had a great time.

For those of you who don't think I'm a total dog I'll see you next post.  :)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Let's Talk About Sex: When Bad Past Experiences Become Present Thought


This post addresses an issue that I think some of you have faced and which I feel needs to be talked about. Sandy has allowed me to write about it from my perspective, it’s intensely personal and for some will be TMI.  But my wife and I don’t mind shedding light on our more private moments if we believe it could help someone else. After all it's become the main focus of my blog.

Along with the many physiological changes the body experiences during sex, the brain undergoes changes as well. A symphony of chemicals such as vasopressin, dopamine and oxytocin are released, which give feelings of pleasure and bonding. But sometimes in the process the mind can quickly regress to unpleasant past experiences. This happened a few nights ago.

When we got home from work Sandy and I had decided to have a little fun before dinner; a romp in the sheets (or wherever) is a great way to work up an appetite. This was nothing new as we never quite know when the mood will strike us and usually give into it when we're able. We enjoy aggressive sex and were both lost in the moment, caught up in the physicality of it all.  Or so I thought.

A few hours later when we were going to sleep Sandy finally broke down crying. She told me that during the time this was happening she felt uncomfortable and not ready, although she wasn't sure why. She realized afterwards that she was experiencing memories of a night when she was almost date-raped.  She said it wasn't anything I had done that triggered it, just where her mind went. We cuddled as we talked about it and resumed a more gentle, intimate session of lovemaking.

These things can occur with no forewarning.  It was the first time we faced this situation in eighteen years of being together.  I had no indication she was feeling this way; there were no verbal or facial cues, no physiological indicators, nothing to tip me off to what was going through her mind.  If it can happen to a couple who are this familiar with each other, it can most certainly happen to a couple who have been together a short time.

I'm writing this because many of you have faced abuse in some form, some of you have been raped. Traumatic events like this can be dealt with head-on or repressed, but the after-effects will (I believe) never completely go away and can be triggered quite unexpectedly. If you find yourself in a situation where you're uncomfortable or even downright fearful it's extremely important to tell your partner at the time, regardless of whether or not he's doing anything intentionally to make you feel this way.  As a man, I can tell you that no guy wants to stop in the middle of sex.  But if your partner cares for you at all he'll understand. If he doesn't, talk it through.  If he still doesn't understand or blows it off, you really need to re-evaluate your relationship. 

To the guys, no matter how worked-up a man gets he needs to keep his partner's comfort and safety in mind.  You owe it to her, and it's something she has every right to demand. 

I encourage all of you to please keep the dialogue open at all times, communication should never stop when your head hits the pillow. Never feel afraid to speak up.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Back Tomorrow


No post today, I'm leaving shortly for my brother's wedding (they've asked me to emcee and I couldn't be more proud!)

I'll return tomorrow with a post that promises to be a little hotter and heavier than usual.  Stay tuned!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Secret Friday


Can you believe I almost forgot to post this?  Me either!  I haven't written much lately, the poem I featured on Wednesday ("Timeless") took the better part of two months on and off to finish.

Anyway, TGIF! It's time for the thirty-seventh installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

Here's how this works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexuality you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

6) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free. You may copy the rules if you wish.

And now to it...

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Timeless (poem)





Timeless


Tears on your window from saddened skies
Seek quiet refuge in your eyes,
As lanterns filled with fireflies
Bring light this dreary day denies.

No longer gripped in passion's throes
Wondering where the rapture goes,
Mind drifts to misty long agos
When romance lived beyond the rose.

I'll sing you tales of maidens fair
With strands of sunlight in their hair,
Forever bathed in golden rays
Warmed by summer's yesterdays.

Playfully chased through billowed field
Each feigned protest artfully revealed,
With chivalrous advance their fate lay sealed
And love's sweet innocence sworn to yield.

It's grandeur of these days you seek
Forever's tears upon your cheek,
Flames rage within your wild heart still
Though tightly grasped in winter's chill.

As shadows play rest heavy eyes
Lost in Gothic lullabies,
Where longing for what's lost subsides
And your knight in shining armour rides.

~Barry O'Shea





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