Saturday, January 16, 2010

Guest Post

Okay I'll admit it,  I'm surrounded by women here and I feel wonderfully spoiled.  It's been great getting a view of life from the 'other side', and having nice things said about you certainly doesn't hurt either. I'm fortunate my wife Sandy is so understanding.  :)

In my travels to your sites and those who associate with you, I've encountered a lot of fashion blogs.  While I  love the pictures, this isn't really my scene so I tend to not linger too long.  Although I always make a point of looking at a post or two to see what's happening.

I'm glad I've kept an open mind.  Recently on my travels I stopped by "It's Unbeweavable".  Over the past months I had seen the name pop up everywhere, and finally out of sheer curiosity decided to drop by.  I soon realized it's more than a 'fashion blog', and found myself reading some great introspections.  I loved the post below in particular, and Elizabeth has allowed me to reproduce it here. Thanks Liz!

Check her out, there's heart behind the clothes. 

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

A Love Story...Of Sorts.

I originally wrote this for the sweet and amazing Nicole at My Teacups in Peony, as part of her Love Story series...we thought it might be a neat little twist. Instead, I am posting it on my blog because as much as it is a Love Story, I truly adore how hers are stories of couples, and she was gracious and kind enough (of course) to understand and support me posting it here...for you. Especially because ya'll have been with me on this journey of mine. You should definitely check out Nicole's blog if you don't read it already, it's lovely!

So It's a Love Story...of sorts.

I haven't been single since the 4th grade. Brandon Payne brought me flowers on the playground (lil pimp) and I was smitten with him all the way to middle school where I promptly broke his lil heart and have since dated and loved some of the most wonderful men with whom I shared amazing years, take your breath away special moments, and built memories, some I thought would last forever.

They didn't.

I am single, at this moment, tonight, by choice. I ended my last relationship in April, and the past 6 months have taken me on a journey that at first had me kicking and screaming, crying and fighting. I didn't want to be single, you see. I wasn't supposed to be. I experienced a particularly rough weekend, a few months ago, filled with horrible dates, wasted makeup, multiple teary calls to my best friend after which I told myself NO MORE DATING. Me? I am the worlds BEST girlfriend, I thought. I have so much love to give! What am I going to do with all of it? Why is God, the universe just letting it go to waste? Where's Ashton because I am totes being punked!

It was one of those moments...lightbulb, kick in the ass, whatever. Maybe I was wasting it on those who were undeserving. What if instead, I channeled all that love into...myself??

I stuck to it. My love story is one of turning inward...and learning to love myself, on my own. I used to depend on my significant other for so much, and I'm talking about way more than late night runs to CVS to bring me ice cream. My self worth, my identity, was always wrapped up completely in whomever I was dating. I lost friends. I hate to say that I was at times, that girl. I'm still a work in progress, but I have never felt as complete as I do now...single. Of course I get lonely, and miss having a chest to rest my head on at night. It's in those moments, where I look at my grandma's rosary hanging from the lamp on my bedside table, barely lit up by a street light and doesn't mean it's going to be forever.

Have you ever felt your heart getting stronger or seen your identity emerge with a force you've never known? I am so different...and I love it. I have had so much time alone to work on myself and figure out what exactly I need from my next, and hopefully last, partner.

I love being in love, you guys. I'm good at it. I truly believe that it is out there for me, again. HE is. I believe that if I had settled, or stayed or forgave yet again, sure I might be part of a couple, an "us", but I wouldn't be happy. I would always wonder...about myself, and about him.

Life leads us on so many different journeys, takes us places we never expected to go. I believe my love story began when I broke free of those expectations and let go...instead of wanting what I didn't have, I began appreciating every single thing I DO have....all the love being literally showered on me by family, friends, even and especially my bloggy ladies (and gents! there are like 3 of ya)...and I began to love them back with the same vengeance and fierceness. I began to get to know Liz again...Not" Liz and Derek", or "Evan's girlfriend Liz." (Names have been changed to protect the dbags.)

With that said, I can't wait to meet HIM. Now, when I meet someone I am willing to invest in, I don't forget who I am, what I have learned in the past 6 months, the things you have helped me see. My self worth, my identity will never be dependent on a man. The next man in my life will encourage my friendships, because these ladies aren't going anywhere, ever. I will never stop loving myself, because as I've told so many friends before and finally decided to take my own advice...How can anyone truly love you when you don't completely love yourself?

They can't.

So Mr. Wonderful, whomever you maybe...I certainly hope you are working on yourself as much as I am, I can't wait to meet you, one day. Some day. No rush. My favorite ice cream is cookies and cream, just in case you are, by any chance, swinging by CVS. Until then, I'll get it on my own. :) See you soon...

Thank you, Nicole, for inspiring me to write and share this.
(images via my packed inspiration folder, most of them via weheartit,


  1. This was a great post! Very inspiring. Singledom is a journey that seems frightning to take, but the results seem spectacular. :)

  2. Gorgeous post. I'm going to discover that blog this very second.

    Thank you for your comment Barry - I LOVED Leah's poem so very much. Will definitely be a regular here. :)

  3. I would love to be involved in blogs over borders! count me in. xoxo


  4. Barry...

    I'm back! The stepdaughter Teenzilla has been sent to her mom's so I can finally get back to visiting my friends!

    That post was awesome.

    Although I am happily married, I totally remember the anguish and frustration that sometimes came with being single. Hell, I still sometimes have anguish and frustration being married, it's just a different kind! ;)

    I have a friend who just got dumped again last night, and I am going to insist that she read this and take it to heart!

  5. Oh, thanks for sharing this wonderful, heartfelt post! And I agree, how can anyone truly love you when you don't completely love yourself. It's when I find peace with myself that I found love again, very unexpectedly:)

    Also thanks for coming by my blog, I thought your poem for Leah was terribly sweet!

  6. that's such a sweet, beautiful post. i do agree; we have to love ourselves before we can love others truly. thanks for sharing!

  7. Lizzy is one of my favorite bloggers in the blogosphere - that has always been one of my favorite posts of hers!! :)

  8. Being single is not an easy thing. I don't know that I ever mastered it or ever will. I love to share my love, life, and everything else with someone. I just hope that this person will soon see that I AM good for them and not walk away....

  9. Aww I remember this post; she definitely always has some great pieces to cheer a person up =) I love love reading her blog =)!

  10. This is so inspiring. Thanks for sharing this Barry. Love is always worth it-wether it's love for others or for yourself. =)

  11. Wow - this is great! I've visited Liz's blog a few times but never stumbled upon this post. Great stuff. Thanks for sharing here :)

  12. Really nice to find other local bloggers (even more local then you think - I actually grew up in Oshawa!)

    You have a very lovely blog. You are able to find the beauty in many things, and that really shows that you have a love for life (vs the Leah misunderstanding :)

  13. i adore liz. she is by far one of my favorite people. this post was inspiring and she, my dear friend barry, has so much to offer to everyone in this world. i'm just lucky she thinks i'm her blog soulmate haha ;) love you liz and thanks barry for reposting this. it was indeed beautiful!