Clarity

"And I will wait to find
If this will last forever,
And I will pay no mind
When it won't and it won't 'cause it can't,
It just can't.
It's not supposed to."

~'Clarity', John Mayer


On a recent drive with Sandy through an adjoining town I was reminded how much things around me are changing. This is a town we used to visit fairly often. Sandy's nephew used to live out there; he's bi-polar and has isolated himself from the family (including disowning his father through no wrong-doing on his dad's part). Her nephew has no interest in contact and unfortunately we haven't seen him for some time. Sad.

For almost two years I drove Sandy out that way for a night school law clerk course, which she's since finished. Our accountant was in the area, he's moved on. The hobby shop I loved to visit closed a few years ago. It's those things I guess we find so easy to take forgranted at the time that have a way of fading.

This week I'll be saying goodbye to an employee who has become a good friend. They say managers shouldn't become too close to their staff, but after nine years it's hard not to develop a close relationship with someone I can confide in as I have with her. She'll be missed.

At some point in the near future Sandy and I face the prospect of telling our family doctor that we're moving on to someone else. He suffered a stroke a few years ago, which slowed him down but didn't stop him. And while I admire and respect his perseverance, lately I'm questioning his ability to provide thorough care. I hate this feeling because I don't bail on anyone. But when our health is concerned we have to keep our best interests in mind. If we don't, who will?

Amongst all of this is my relationship with my dad.  We haven't been close since he and my mom divorced when I was twelve; I began to see how different we are during my teens and despite attempts to reconnect we've been in and out of each other's lives ever since. And although it saddens me I've come to accept that my relationship with him is what it is. I love my father no less than I would if we were closer. I can choose to dwell over this and let it consume me, or find peace with it. I choose to be thankful that he's in my life as he is and cherish those relationships in my life that continue to grow.

So on this night drive home, I started putting all of these things together. All the times that were, that aren't or will soon no longer be. But instead of feeling loss or even nostalgia, a tremendous sense of contentment swept through me. I accept that things in my life will never stay the same, that I'll hold onto what I can but that some things have to slip away. It's an extremely hard lesson to learn, like most people I've always fought against change. I know there will still be many times when I desperately cling to that which threatens to slip away.

Letting go can be very painful. But what I've learned is that if you're living in what was, you're missing out on what is.

I'm Official!

Okay, so in a moment of pure self-indulgence I commissioned my printer to run off some personal business cards for me. My blog and interests come up in conversation sometimes, and I got tired of trying to find a pen and paper when people ask for the address. So this is my solution.
  And I ain't gonna lie, I just like the way having my own card feels.

other side

  If you're a regular reader and (for whatever reason) you think you'd like one, drop me a line and I'll send it your way. I've blanked off my cell phone number for this photo, but it appears on the card.  If you're inclined to call me from the other side of the world, be my guest!  :)

Hope you're all having a great weekend!

Secret Friday

Hey guys, TGIF! It's time for the thirty-sixth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.

Here's how this works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexuality you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

6) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free. You may copy the rules if you wish.

And now to it...

Guest Photo Feature No. 3

Just a reminder, I'm taking submissions for random photo features on my blog.  See here for more info. I hope you'll participate!

Today's entry comes from Marisa at "..or so i feel". Her love of literature and quotations first drew me to her blog, but it's the openness in her posts that's kept me coming back. Drop by and pay her a visit, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. 

In her words:

"These are from my 1st Anniversary Trip with my husband to Maine in 2008. I LOVE Maine and would move there tomorrow if my husband said the word. I love the ocean, the smells in the air,the history, the people... I could go on and on..."

"This was taken in Kennebunkport, Maine. We were driving down the main drag and I saw this building so happily situated between the most beautiful trees. The leaves were so brilliant and the message just made me swell with pride to be an American."

"Taken in a small fishing Village of Bernard..... I wanted to stay there forever, buy lobster at the market and walk to the church on Sunday... bliss."

"Lobster boat... found everywhere of the coast in Bar Harbor or as the locals call it BAA-HAA BAH."


Thanks for your photos Marisa. Being half East-Coast myself (my mother was born in Nova Scotia), the photos of the harbour are very familiar to me.

Anyone else care to submit?  Don't make me come looking for you...  :)

What My Tiny Man-Brain Has Learned...

-some of the most valuable things you'll learn in life will be from those half your age

-people who seem to be so much better off are struggling just as much as you are

-the older you get, the more you realize how much you still have to learn

-even if you never have children of your own, at some point you'll feel like a parent to somebody

-at various times in your life you'll meet people and have conversations you never would have expected, and will never forget

-some of the most meaningful relationships are those that are hardest to define

- maturity isn't found in age or experience nearly as much as in attitude

-never belittle anything that someone is passionate about

- you can never make somebody do what's best for them, but if they won't take your advice don't take it personally. Chances are someday after they've learned that lesson someone won't listen to them either.

-you'll never grow by making all the right decisions

-you can never have too many x's and o's in a letter or e-mail

-if you don't keep an open, adventurous mind you'll close yourself off to some of the greatest experiences you'll ever have


Each day is like ice cream my friends.  Devour it before it melts, but make sure to savour it along the way.

Friendship

"Friendship isn't about whom you've known the longest, it's about who came and never left your side."


Okay I admit it, in a fit of weakness I've succumbed to something impossibly cute and put this together.  Not something your typical guy would do maybe but hey...I'm not your typical guy.  Or at least I don't think I am.  I do have moments of crudeness and cockiness, and plan to have a night to forget at my brother's stag next Saturday, so all is not lost.

Anyway happy Sunday everyone. I've accomplished nothing around the house of much consequence so far on this rainy day, and I'm feeling really good about it.  Hoping it'll continue.

Guest Photo Feature No. 2

Just a reminder, I'm taking submissions for random photo features on my blog. See here for more info. I hope you'll participate!

Today I'm featuring photos from two bloggers. Sophia from Blue Chair Diary has been an inspiration of strength for me over the past year, having overcome tremendous adversity in her life. She continues to fight with courage and a smile.  Be sure to drop by and say hi, I know she'd love to hear from you. It was a pleasant surprise to find she shares my love of barns. In Sophia's words: 

"I LOVE barns and always have since I was a little girl. I love the feeling of freedom that barns give me inside. These barns are particularly my favourite as they are a symbol of healing for me. I took these about a month or so after my major liver surgery. I survived!  :) "

Thanks for your submissions Sophia!  <3

_________________________________________________

Next up is Dina from Dina's Days (Dina hails from Aqaba, Jordan).  For those of you into fashion I recommend stopping by her blog,  she's up to date on current trends and the photos are first-rate.

I love that my Middle East readers are able to contribute and show this part of the world to the rest of us.  In her words...

"This photo was also taken in Jordan, but in Petra. Petra has been officially named one of the Wonders of the World. I met this young girl, who told me she was pulled out of the 1st grade by her father to sell rocks to the tourists in Petra. They live in tents, and make a living by selling anything they can to those who visit Petra including rocks and jewelry."

"Here's one of my favorite pictures from when I visited my hometown in Jordan. This was taken in Aqaba, Jordan which is the most southern part of the country. This city feels like 2 completely different worlds. One half is all tourists, lounging on a breathtaking beach. While on the other side, the locals struggle to make it by. Here, 2 locals sell vegetables out of their trucks on the side of the road. This photo and my trip will always be special to me!"

Thanks for this Dina!

Who's next?...........

Secret Friday

                                                         

 Hi everyone, TGIF! Welcome to the thirty-fifth installment of Secret Friday, a chance to share some secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.

All are valid.


Here's how this works:

1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.

2) Post anonymously, no names please. It can be anything from mild to wild, anything goes. All I ask is that it's true. You can contribute as many as you're comfortable with.

3) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right to remove anything which appears to be posted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right not to remove content that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.

4) If you're someone who is easily offended by swearing or sexuality you may not want to read through the comments. I have no idea where this will go and won't be reviewing comments until after they are posted.

5) As always I'd like everyone to please refrain from commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore inappropriate remarks will be removed. Fortunately this hasn't been an issue and I'd like to thank all of you for that.

6) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free. You may copy the rules if you wish.

And now to it...

Be There

  A line in the chorus of this song really ties in with how I've been feeling lately.  Blogging to me has always been so much more than talking about how my day's been.  It's about connecting with people who, though they may be thousands of miles away, are every bit the friends that those around me are.

  Lately I haven't had a lot of time to visit you guys.  Most would say this is something we should do in our 'spare' time, something that shouldn't intrude too much in our 'real' lives.  But when you make friends like this, to me the definition of 'real' becomes blurred.  Why should an on-line friend be any less important in our lives than those tangibles we can see?

  I know I'm off-track when some of my readers friends ask me if the reason I haven't visited them lately is because they've done something to upset me.  It's become more frequent over the past week, and it bothers me that I've let it get to this.  So for those of you who may be wondering I want to assure you that:

• you haven't upset me
• you haven't pissed me off
• if you had, I'd man-up and write you so we could discuss it like adults
• I haven't somehow grown tired of you
• you're on my mind as much as you ever were

      and most importantly,

• I miss you.  I do.

  The line in this song that got me is, "If you're gonna be there, be there."  It's so simple but to me very powerful.  You don't make a friend and abandon them.  You don't just walk into someone's life and walk out.  You don't tell someone you'll be a shoulder then leave when things get too tough for them or you.  I've had moments in my life that have been extremely hard to deal with, that I've wanted to walk away because it was too painful to stay.  It's hard to see people go through certain things, sometimes they don't realize how it can affect you.  But it's selfish to abandon that promise of love and support.  Being a friend, a lover, a spouse is about giving of yourself regardless of how it affects you. If you're gonna be there, be there. It's a committment we make, spoken or not.

  We all impact someone's life, some more than others.  I know I don't connect with everyone, and that's okay because I don't expect to.  But I've formed friendships with many of you, some of you I've grown very close to.  I don't expect to change your life, I'm just me doing what I can.  But if I can make some sort of a difference to your day here or there it's all I could ask for.

  I promise I'm trying harder to get around to all of your blogs.  I also realize I haven't been responding to comments as much as I should (virtual slap on the wrist).  I want to change that.  I still have some old e-mails to respond to. It never ends does it?

  Just know if you haven't heard from me for a while I'm still thinking about you.  I said I'm gonna be here, and I'm here.

Guest Photo Feature No. 1

Just a reminder, I'm taking submissions for random photo features on my blog.  See here for more info.  I hope you'll participate!

The first guest post is from Chania at Razmataz. Her site features an eclectic assortment of interior decoration and design. I think she's tremendously creative, be sure to drop by her site for a visit.

In Chania's words, "This is a photo I took of a little row boat in the harbor at Lion's Head, Ontario (Canada). Of all the boats in the marina, I was attracted to this little red boat because it is so simple. I shot this in the evening just as the sun was going down. the shadow on the water makes it look very inky. The photo looks a bit like an oil painting."

cutlery

jewelry bits

shop

soaps

sofa  

                                                                cottage

cottage

                                                     farmers market

                                                         farmers market

                                                                 June

Thanks for your submissions Chania!  Anyone else?

Adrift

For someone who had courage to unfurl her sails.


Adrift


The heart is a ship.
Moored safely in port
It encounters neither danger nor adventure,
Biding time until sun awakens over clear waters.
With bearings plotted it embarks,
Certain of the course to be taken.
But storms lurk
On horizons yet uncharted,
Seas will swell
And toss this frail craft about.

Point your sails into a wind
That steers around the storm,
The brightest star
Calling from darkened skies
Will cast its light upon your bow
To show the way.

And when the winds have died
And your heart is left adrift
A friend will fill your sails
And guide the rest of the way
Until your safe return
To harbour.





Photo credit.

Down On The Farm

  A few Sundays ago Sandy and I were invited by a couple from our local market to visit them on their farm. It's generally open to the public, fortunately when we arrived we were the only ones there.  Let's take a walk and see what happens when city slickers meet country folk (click on photos to enlarge)...

Our gracious hosts.

God I love old barns.  Lemme at it!....

It was almost spiritual, the way the light poured in. I could have stayed here forever.

Turkeys

Ever held a duck?

Sandy picking strawberries.

Cucumbers

Green onions

Corn

Oh hell, I forget what this is...

...and this...

...more mystery vegetables.

cantaloupe?

Children Of The Corn

"That's it, work it baby! Own it..own it...Love the tractor...That's it, right there!"

goat

With a face like that I think this one was trying to seduce me.

lamb

Happy as a pig in...y'know.

We were pretty much surrounded by chickens.  They acted dumb but they were actually biding their time, secretly preparing to break out.  Two of them actually did escape the previous week.  Police said fowl play was suspected.

All in all it was a good day and a nice break from our regular Sunday routine.