Monday, September 7, 2009

Thin Threads (fate vs chance vs coincidence)

"Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera."

Okay, despite being one of the most annoying songs ever written, it can still get one thinking. One of life's great mysteries and something we will never all agree upon is to what degree we control our destiny. How much do we steer the direction of what happens in our life?

There's an ancient Chinese proverb which states, "Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time." I'll never believe in waiting for good things to happen to me. Success in anything comes from hard work, going out and getting what you want.

Still, things will always happen that make me question how much these events are out of our hands. I firmly believe that most things happen for a reason; it's not always clear why they do and I don't think we're always meant to understand it. Maybe this way of thinking is for me a bit of a security blanket; a means of comfort in times of turmoil and assurance that (as quoted from Desiderada) "no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should". This has never been more applicable for me than when dealing with relationships.

I have an incredibly hard time letting go when those I care about leave, whether it's through a death, a falling-out, or moving to a distant location. Conversely I've met some amazing new people who have inspired me to keep my attitude up by giving selflessly of themselves through their words. My attitude's always been pretty solid, but it's nice to have the influence of those around me.

Then there are those people and events that enter our lives and leave us questioning what, if such things are meant to be, are we possibly to gain by experiencing them.

I don't have any answers, only theories. I think that if things do indeed happen to us for a reason, it's often due to a set of circumstances set in motion by choices we make. I don't believe fate decides for us what those choices are, but that they're conscious decisions which put a chain of events into play.
I also believe that traumatic events that occur in our lives are as beneficial (probably more) in the long run as the more pleasurable moments. Because through adversity we are able to grow, though reason isn't always present at the time.

Thoughts anyone?


  1. I have a hard time letting go as well. I'm still working on coming to terms with our death and the constant flux of things. What do you mean I won't live forever?! And you're right, whatever will be WILL be... but you can't just sit around waiting for perfection to fall from the sky. You have to take chances, find your passion and follow it! But you know that... I just like saying it:)))

    Traumatic events are more beneficial... that's an odd and possibly very true thing to say. I never thought of that. Hhhhmmm... It's so unfortunate that we learn the hard way. I'm REALLY trying to learn from the good so I don't have to go through these massive experiences later on. Good lesson right there!

  2. I agree whole-heartedly with your last paragraph. Great post.

    Yup things happen for a reason, whether bad or good.

    Thank for taking the time to read & comment on my blog. Events happen and I believe it's the people in one's life whether they be friends or stranger that you need to get through things. Thank you. have a good day.

  3. I believe that everything in life is based on chance and coincidence. We like to believe everything happens for a reason because it's a security blanket. It reassures us. As humans we always want answers, and "Everything happens for a reason" is an answer. How does anything traumatic make your stronger? That's another security blanket. Who said you were weak to begin? Your loved one dies instantly in a car how would that be beneficial to your life? That person had to die just so that you could be "stronger" in the long run? Bad experiences are not worth us learning to become "stronger". It's really sad, but it's the truth...chance & coincidence.